Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Abominable Club

Most days I wake up with the thought "I wish I could have a baby, why can't I?". Obsessed, me?
For a while now, I had the feeling that it's all a conspiracy of my reproductive organs. Now I have obtained proof! Below is a completely truthfull report of a secret meeting that was held in my abdomen a few weeks ago. They call themselves the Abominable Club.
In order to protect my source, I won't divulge how I this intel was passed on to me.

Click on the images to enlarge them.

The meeting is called to order

The ring leader is Right Ovary

RO: Order, Order!! It's been almost 2 years since our host started TTC.
I called this meeting to decide how we will mark the occasion.

Give up resistance?

Left Overy is a peacemaker. Ute, well, just see.

LO: Maybe we should give up our resistance.

Ute: Are you nuts? Do I have to remind you exactly how large she waants to inflate me? Can you imagine the stretchmarks? I would be scarred for life!

Initial goal

RO: It's true, we've reached our initial goal. We're no longer taken for granted.
But if we've gained this much appreciation now, think of what we could have if we hold out a little longer.

LO: I dunno. I've been hearing rumours of outsourcing.


LO: It's a strange process called 'adoption'.

Blood is thicker than water

Ute: Outsourcing? She wouldn't! Never. Blood is thicker than water you know.
Instinct would never approve.

LO: My friend. Subconscious says Instinct is happy as long as it gets to raise a child.


Enough of this nonsense, let's get back to planning our little celebration.

Good will

LO: At least let's show some good will. Let's release an egg on time for once.

A plan

RO: Yeah, let it develop long enough to get the nausea going and the HCG
pumping, and then expel it.

Ute: Oh no you don't, those blasted buggers hang on for dear life. Convince the Fallopians to hang on to it.

No death wish

The Fallopian Tubes are stuck in the middle of course.

Fallopians: Leave us out if it, we don't have a death wish.


RO: Ute, you wuss!

LO: Look who's talking, you junk. If you want to get your kicks next month,
you'd better send her a clear signal.


RO:Yeah, the dope was sweet.

final plan

RO: I have it! Ute, you prepare some lining, we'll do some follicles. Not too much, just to pass muster for the ultrasound.

Ute: Ok, I'll retract the cervix for a week for good measure.

eggs overdone

RO: Then we'll sit on those eggs untill they're thoroughly overdone. It's bound to work. Let's do it.

To be continued ...

Obviously, this entry was inspired by the Adventures of Infertile Myrtle by Karen. I was glad to see the return of Infertile Myrtle after a rather long absence.

I had a number of technical problems in creating this post. The scans I made were useless, so I had to resort to the digital camera. Let's just say I know more about image manipulation than I did last week. ;-)

Updated to include subtitles.


At 30 December, 2005 00:53, Blogger projgen said...

Ha! Funny. And yet, a little disturbing to think my parts might be having conversations with each other...

At 30 December, 2005 18:06, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Rumours of outsourcing, indeed! Hahahaha!

At 30 December, 2005 23:08, Anonymous Lori said...

I wonder if my tubes have heard the news there about to get fired. Hope they aren't planning a riot in there.
Thanks for making me laugh! Wish I was that creative.

At 31 December, 2005 04:52, Blogger Finding My New Normal said...

Oh man, I can relate. I like your cartoon and that is extally what must have happened in my abdomen as well. So, not only do they hold meetings inside us individually but they must also go on retreat and meet together in order to control us en masse.

At 31 December, 2005 14:59, Blogger Sandy said...

What a riot! Literally and figuratively!!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning.


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