Most days I wake up with the thought "I wish I could have a baby, why can't I?". Obsessed, me?
For a while now, I had the feeling that it's all a conspiracy of my reproductive organs. Now I have obtained proof! Below is a completely truthfull report of a secret meeting that was held in my abdomen a few weeks ago. They call themselves the Abominable Club.
In order to protect my source, I won't divulge how I this intel was passed on to me.
Click on the images to enlarge them.
The ring leader is Right Ovary
RO: Order, Order!! It's been almost 2 years since our host started TTC.
I called this meeting to decide how we will mark the occasion.
Left Overy is a peacemaker. Ute, well, just see.
LO: Maybe we should give up our resistance.
Ute: Are you nuts? Do I have to remind you exactly how large she waants to inflate me? Can you imagine the stretchmarks? I would be scarred for life!
RO: It's true, we've reached our initial goal. We're no longer taken for granted.
But if we've gained this much appreciation now, think of what we could have if we hold out a little longer.
LO: I dunno. I've been hearing rumours of outsourcing.
LO: It's a strange process called 'adoption'.
Ute: Outsourcing? She wouldn't! Never. Blood is thicker than water you know.
Instinct would never approve.
LO: My friend. Subconscious says Instinct is happy as long as it gets to raise a child.
Enough of this nonsense, let's get back to planning our little celebration.
LO: At least let's show some good will. Let's release an egg on time for once.
RO: Yeah, let it develop long enough to get the nausea going and the HCG
pumping, and then expel it.
Ute: Oh no you don't, those blasted buggers hang on for dear life. Convince the Fallopians to hang on to it.
The Fallopian Tubes are stuck in the middle of course.
Fallopians: Leave us out if it, we don't have a death wish.
RO: Ute, you wuss!
LO: Look who's talking, you junk. If you want to get your kicks next month,
you'd better send her a clear signal.
RO:Yeah, the dope was sweet.
RO: I have it! Ute, you prepare some lining, we'll do some follicles. Not too much, just to pass muster for the ultrasound.
Ute: Ok, I'll retract the cervix for a week for good measure.
RO: Then we'll sit on those eggs untill they're thoroughly overdone. It's bound to work. Let's do it.
To be continued ...
Obviously, this entry was inspired by the Adventures of Infertile Myrtle
. I was glad to see the return of Infertile Myrtle after a rather long absence.
I had a number of technical problems in creating this post. The scans I made were useless, so I had to resort to the digital camera. Let's just say I know more about image manipulation than I did last week. ;-)Updated to include subtitles.