Sunday, April 02, 2006

On the first date?

Another week to go until my first appointement with dr. A.

One thing I've considered asking him is whether he knows any good psychologists/psychiatrist that have experience in treating IF patients.

A friend of mine (someone with ample IF experience of her own) thinks this isn't a good idea to bring this up at the first meeting. The doctor might get the impression I'm mentally teetering over the edge, while the serious treatments have yet to start.

The thought had crossed my mind, but I don't see it that way. I have a headache, I take an aspirine. I'm IF, I seek treatment from an RE. IF comes with tough emotions to tackle, so wouldn't it make sense to seek help there too? Isn't that a balanced and responsible thing to do?

Having a therapist is fairly uncommon here. Telling people you see one is even more uncommon. Seeking psychiatric help is for serious cases, that seems to be the common understanding anyway.

Now, I bet I'll be seeing a lot of dr. A in the coming months, so I can wait until later to bring up this particular question. Besides, I wouldn't want to distract him from priority #1: the PLAN.

Back to twiddling my thumbs.

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18 Comments:

At 02 April, 2006 23:19, Blogger PI Jill said...

My RE gives referals to all of her patients. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for one - your doctor knows how stressful infertility treatment is, and wants you to succeed, and really, all you are asking for is someone who can offer you some professional support for your emotional well being.

I didn't end up going, but I wish I had, if only to have one hour a week I could cry without guilt.

 
At 03 April, 2006 00:19, Anonymous Lori said...

Maybe because therapy is so common here, but I say go for it and ask. Even on the first date. But then again, I'm that kind of girl. ;)

 
At 03 April, 2006 03:32, Blogger projgen said...

My clinic gives out names of therapists at the orientation, and includes one session with a therapist in the price of the cycle.

There might be stigmas still in the "outside" world, but *everyone* involved with infertility knows how stressful and painful it can get. Doc Albatross shouldn't even bat an eye.

 
At 03 April, 2006 11:38, Blogger Meg said...

Lut - Sounds like a really sensible idea to me too...other people don't get the "crazy" thing. Only today, my sister told me she was "sick of me being a moody bitch". GRR. Mental health doesn't always behave the way we would like it to, hey?

 
At 03 April, 2006 18:40, Blogger Bronwyn said...

I must follow the crowd with this one and say go for it. Whatever you need to get through this should be your prerogative. this whole process is stressful enough without worrying what other people might think about your sanity!

 
At 03 April, 2006 20:29, Blogger N said...

Here too going to see a therapist is usually conencted to a really serious mental sickness. But then again on my first appointment with the clinic (group meeting) one of the nurses pointed out that my clinic actually employs a part-time psychologist specializing in IF. I did not expect that from Sweden at all, where people eat their worries to the point of total break-down. What do I want to say with all of this above? Well, I too think you should go and ask Dr. Albatros.

Good luck on your next date with Dr. Albatros by the way!

Nina

 
At 03 April, 2006 20:57, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

My clinic employs a full time psychologists and you see him for an hour during your orientation. You are not at all out of line to ask.

 
At 04 April, 2006 16:07, Blogger fisher queen said...

Yeah, this IS serious. I say ask. I've also found that support groups are very helpful- mine was actually more helpful for me than the therapist I saw.

 
At 04 April, 2006 21:27, Blogger Ornery said...

Hopefully, you'll get a sense of how comfortable you feel with Dr. Albatross during your appointment, and can then decide whether you want to ask about a psychologist/psychiatrist during that appointment or wait until later. I tend to agree with the others, but it's all about what makes you comfortable.

 
At 04 April, 2006 22:42, Blogger Chee Chee said...

I'd totally ask. It seems very responsible to discuss your feelings about infertility with a professional. Our RE's office has counselors on staff and monthly support group meetings. The information is included in the IVF packet of materials.

 
At 05 April, 2006 17:56, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Any good clinic will have an IF counsellor on staff or give you a referral to one.

 
At 07 April, 2006 03:20, Blogger Dream Mommy said...

There's nothing wrong with needing someone to talk to. IF is very difficult to deal with!

 
At 08 April, 2006 05:19, Blogger Beth said...

Ask! I was hesitant myself, and still am, but since we are moving on to IVF I believe my clinic requires time with the psychologist on staff. IF doesn't just impact the body, but the mind and heart as well. I say treat the person and be good to you.

 
At 08 April, 2006 15:14, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I say ask. Infertility is very very stressful, and you should not be ashamed to ask for help. A lot of doctors offices have a psychologist or social worker on staff. We had to see one as part of our work up. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 
At 08 April, 2006 20:22, Blogger UtRus said...

therapy is very common here where i live. my opinion is that asking for a referral for a counsellor or psychologist or psychiatrist to help support you during ANY time in your life where YOU feel you need it is a very good thing. i humbly (and hopefully) disagree that it would make your Fertility Doc think you were unbalanced in any way. this is Big Stuff, and there is no reason why we shouldn't need extra non-judgemental support to think through it and the emotions that come along. you are smart to consider including this in your path.

 
At 09 April, 2006 15:21, Blogger M said...

My RE had suggested accupuncture to me after he first met me, I guess he could tell what a worrier I was and how tense I was. I never actually went- the thought of needles for the medicine was enough-- I didn't need needles all over my body too.
However, I had seen a therapist off and on for 2 years. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself! I saw go for it!

 
At 09 April, 2006 18:36, Blogger Thalia said...

I think any infertility doc is going to understand the stress, no matter what the cultural norms are. There is no harm in asking.

 
At 09 April, 2006 21:33, Anonymous Alexa said...

Seeing a therapist is good, but seeing a therapist with experience dealing with infertility issues is SO MUCH BETTER. My therapist now went through infertility herself and also works for Resolve. It has been so great to have a therapist who understands (and who does not tell me to "stop dwelling" on my miscarriage a MONTH after it happened. Ahem.)
I say go for it.

 

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