Monday, June 12, 2006

17 of 20

If you take a random group of 20 women undergoing IUI, 17 will not get PG. I'm one of those 17. A BFN.
Am I devastated? Crushed? Can't say that I am. I'm deeply disappointed though, that's for sure.

The success rates for IUI are rather low, which makes me wonder why I'm doing this. Because it's standard protocol of course, but why is that? Is it a rite of passage? Is it a test of determination? Needle training?

Have you ever been to one of those new-fangled amusement parks? They don't just make you cue endlessly in a maze of ropes.
No, no. First, there is the maze of ropes, but it has a decor matching the attraction you're queing for. Then there's an antechamber, with not only a decor, but sound and video effects to keep you occupied, or even a poor employee who has to repeat the same 10-minute script over and over again. After these 'appetizers' you finally get to the real deal.
Translated to the exhillerating world of ART, Cl0mid is the rope maze, IUI is the antechamber, IVF is the real deal. I'm eager to leave the waiting area, and get down to business. Alas, there are no shortcuts.

So when can I cycle again? I innocently assumed immediately with the next cycle. Not so according to the doc's receptionist: "the upcoming cycle is a rest cycle and after that you can try again". Excuse me?
I protested that this was news to me, the doctor had never mentioned rest cycles between IUI's. And we had discussed an upcoming cycle and if that would collide with his holiday plans.
She said that was how they usually did things, but would ask the doctor. True to her word, she put me on hold for a few minutes, then gave me the doctor's go-ahead. Fabulous! I was pleasantly surprised by such efficiency.

I'm glad I stood up for myself. The mere thought of another rest cycle makes me want to scream. And, come on, what do I need a break from? The low dose of stims was just a nudge for my ovaries, nothing exhausting.

So now there is nothing left for me to do but wait for CD1 to roll around. Meanwhile, I'm forgetting about my diet for a couple of days, to wit: spaghetti bolognese, dark chocolate ice cream and Abs0lut Rasberry. Mmmmm!

Thank you all for the well wishes in the past few days. It meant a lot to me.

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30 Comments:

At 12 June, 2006 23:17, Blogger EJW said...

I'm sorry you're one of the 17. I so wanted you to be one of the 3.

 
At 12 June, 2006 23:20, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was one of the 17 (six times!) and finallly moved to a successful ivf. i'm sorry that it didn't work, but stay positive and fight the good fight!

 
At 12 June, 2006 23:44, Blogger katty said...

I am very sorry that this didn't work. The statistics are so bloody low, aren't they. And the three that do work are so taunting... not a high enough percentage to give us a really good chance, but just enough to make us think... 'maybe it could be me..."
I know what you mean about IVF. I will start this cycle. Sniffing on Friday.
I really wish you good luck (and well done for avoiding the rest cycle).
And also thanks for the blogging tips....

 
At 13 June, 2006 00:03, Blogger projgen said...

Lut, I'm so sorry you were in the 17. Nice analogy with the amusement park, though. I wish you could skip "go" and get your $200. And good for you for standing up for yourself. So many of us get so intimidated by those "in authority" that we forget we can speak up.

Enjoy your Absolut (sooo yummy!).

 
At 13 June, 2006 00:51, Blogger squarepeg said...

Oh Lut, I'm so sorry. What a pisser. You analogy was so apt - I can totally understand wanting to cut to the front of the line sometimes. Good for you for holding your ground with the doctor. Rest cycle; sheesh.

 
At 13 June, 2006 01:24, Blogger Dawn said...

I'm so sorry for your bfn. Good for you for standing up for yourself! And thanks for your comments on my blog today. It does help.

 
At 13 June, 2006 01:27, Blogger Sparkle said...

Sorry about your bfn.

Fantastic news that you can cycle again straight away.

Just a thought, but it might be wise to have a fixed no. of cycles in mind that you are prepared to do, before moving on.

 
At 13 June, 2006 01:50, Anonymous Sarah said...

I was in that group of 17 too! Many of us have been. So nice to hear that you remain so positive about everything. IVF is one of those things that, while you don't really like the idea of it, on the other hand, it feels like things are really getting going. At least that is how I felt. I just read that back and I'm not sure that I made sense. Anyways, I am happy to hear that you are onto the big guns! Welcome to the club!

 
At 13 June, 2006 01:52, Anonymous Sarah said...

In all my incoherence, I utterly forgot to say how sorry I am about your BFN. It is so disappointing. Take care.

 
At 13 June, 2006 02:14, Blogger PI Jill said...

Good for you, for standing up for yourself. I am sorry for the need to do go on to the next cycle, though.

 
At 13 June, 2006 02:59, Blogger Liz said...

I'm so sorry it didn't work. Glad you won't have to wait and will be able to start again. Enjoy your comfort food.

 
At 13 June, 2006 09:30, Blogger Meg said...

Lut - I'm was so sorry to check in and hear about your result. Love to you both. (But wow for getting them to agree to move again so quickly. Good on you.)

 
At 13 June, 2006 11:48, Anonymous Meri-ann said...

Oh crap, I'm sorry. I'm glad you got the go-ahead to cycle again soon, here's to getting better news!

 
At 13 June, 2006 12:17, Blogger InDueTime said...

Hugs Lut!! I really hoped you would beat it the first time! Ugh. I am sorry it didnt work but many prayers to the next one sweetie! Hugssss!

 
At 13 June, 2006 12:43, Blogger Thalia said...

LutC I'm really really sorry that this didn't work for you.

Why do you have to go through this antechamber? Does your health care system/insurance say that you have to? Because I agree with you, IUI seems like a waste of time to me.

 
At 13 June, 2006 13:05, Blogger Robber Barren said...

I'm sorry this cycle didn't work for you, Lut. Here's hoping the next has better results.

 
At 13 June, 2006 14:31, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lut, I'm so sorry. I was so hoping that you would be one of the three instead.

 
At 13 June, 2006 14:34, Blogger Angie said...

I"m so sorry it didn't work. :( Thinking of you!

 
At 13 June, 2006 16:00, Blogger Sarah said...

Very sorry about the IUI not working. Being on the crap side of the stats sucks...been there more times than I can count. Hang in there and keep taking up for yourself.

 
At 13 June, 2006 16:46, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am sorry that your IUI didn't work this time around. I have my fingers crossed that the next cycle will be the one. Hugs to you!

 
At 13 June, 2006 17:04, Blogger zhl said...

Oh, LutC, so sorry for the negative. I wonder why IUIs are pushed so vigorously when the chances for success are so low. Good for you though for asking for what you want.

 
At 13 June, 2006 17:50, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

I'm so sorry this cycle wasn't the one. I'll be thinking of you.

 
At 14 June, 2006 02:54, Blogger Mony said...

Damn statistics. No wonder we get down in the dumps!
Yes IVF is the real deal but only for 1 in 3! Damn! Damn! It's a long haul, for sure. Hey, If you don't give up....I won't either. We gotta come up trumps sometime. Thinking of you doll!

 
At 14 June, 2006 05:14, Blogger sube said...

So sorry this cycle didn't work, but glad you get to cycle again right away. I hope the antechamber is all you'll ever need to see.

 
At 14 June, 2006 14:26, Blogger Shazz said...

So sorry it didn't work, bloody stats!

 
At 14 June, 2006 17:03, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

Lut, I am so sorry. I kept refreshing on Monday and this is the first time I've had to come back. The stats are awful, for all ART procedures. I am glad your clinic gave up on the rest period.
Eat as much of that dark chocalate ice cream as you can. Does absolute rasberry work as an ice cream sauce?

 
At 15 June, 2006 14:33, Blogger M said...

I'm sorry. We did 2 IUIs that failed before moving on to IVF. We were even discouraged from doing IUI because our chance was like zip...but my husband insisted. Will you try IVF or is IUI it for you>?

 
At 15 June, 2006 15:55, Blogger Meg said...

Lut - Just checking up. x Let us know how you're doing.

 
At 15 June, 2006 17:28, Blogger Mellie said...

I'm so sorry for the bloody negative, Lut. Good for you for asking them about cycling again right away. Can you move on to IVF now if you want to? Either way, I hope the next cycle puts you on the favorable side of the odds.

 
At 15 June, 2006 19:57, Anonymous Manuela said...

DAMN! Lut... this just SUCKS... I am so so sorry.

 

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