Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Meltdown

Today I had my first meltdown at work. Tears, hysterics, the works. All right, it was actually just tears, but that's bad enough.

What I had been dreading for two weeks happened: the Moron's baby arrived. It wasn't the news itself that made me crack, but the way it was delivered. I had been steeling myself for an e-mail with the joyous news or a group announcement. I'm pretty sure I could have handled that.

Of course, that's not how it went down. The Moron* chose to visit each office space separately, so he could experience his time in the sun not once but many, many times over. I could hear him coming from many offices away. A murmur 5 doors away, then 4, a chatter 3 doors away, then 2, a conversation 1 door away. Gulp.

As he moves closer to my office, my discomfort rises. My emotions start to mill out of control. "I won't manage to congratulate him with a straight face, or make appropriate conversation. That patronizing tone he always uses will make me want to smack him. I CAN'T DO THIS!"
I decide to bolt to the second floor, into the office of two colleague-friends of mine (Irina and Marissa). For a minute, I think I'll be ok, but then I start trembling and just lose it. Reduced to tears.

Irina knew right away what the problem was, since I confided in her a few weeks ago (thank goodness). I had been waiting for the right moment to tell Marissa, but it hadn't come yet. This was a little more drama than I had planned. Anyway, the two of them wisked me out of the building safely through the back entrance and consoled me until I calmed down. I'm very lucky with such good friends.

After that episode, I hid in one of our side-buildings and kept myself busy there.

Now, as far as meltdowns go, this one wasn't a total disaster. The only witnesses were friends I trust. It was bound to happen someday.
My sudden disapearance may have seemed odd to the person I share my office with. I offered no explanation, and none was asked, or due for that matter.

I see I need to work on my relaxation exercises some more to prevent this from happening again. Though I doubt anything less than a levitation trance would have done the trick.

*I don't want to go into any detail, but this guy has earned his nickname. He's managed to alienate almost every one of my colleagues in record time. That says enough.

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20 Comments:

At 04 July, 2006 22:49, Blogger projgen said...

Oh Lut, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. But very glad you had people to turn to, who responded so appropriately to you.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself - hopefully, you won't have a situation that causes such meltdown at work, but if it happens, it happens. You know you have good friends there to help you through.

Big hugs.

 
At 04 July, 2006 22:55, Blogger katty said...

Oh dear. Poor you. It's good your friends were there to help you....

 
At 05 July, 2006 01:54, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Oh Lut I am so so sorry that you had to go through that. It must have been awful. I am glad that you had some friends there to help you through. Please know that I am thinking of you. Hugs!

 
At 05 July, 2006 03:27, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

I'm sorry to hear about your meltdown. At least you were able to get away for the rest of the day, no? And you didn't kill him, so that's got to go in the 'good deed' for the day...right?

 
At 05 July, 2006 03:41, Blogger Mony said...

A very graceful meltdown dear Lut.
You are a lady through & through! That's what we LOVE about you!

 
At 05 July, 2006 04:12, Blogger InDueTime said...

Im sorry Lut, Meltdowns happen to each of us. I haven't had the joys of having one at work yet, not to say it hasnt come close. Its a matter of time though.

 
At 05 July, 2006 05:15, Blogger Debbi said...

Lut, I am SO sorry you had to deal with this. Moron is absolutely right and I think you handled it perfectly. I'd do the exact same thing. Hopefully it's over, at least for now and you can arrange to be "gone" when the baby makes the rounds in a few weeks. *sigh* some people just don't understand.

Hang in there.

 
At 05 July, 2006 05:15, Anonymous Patricia said...

I'm so sorry. I wish that I could say that I haven't felt the same way numerous times, but I have.

It's those sneak attacks that are the worst.

 
At 05 July, 2006 11:15, Blogger Meg said...

Oh Lut :(

But I tell you what, I am so glad that there was at least someone there for you. Meltdown is horrible (Remember mine following car accident a month or two back?.. PHEW!! So discomfiting)but at least it was among friends.

I hope you are feeling better now.

Love to you. xx

 
At 05 July, 2006 15:37, Blogger soralis said...

I am so sorry you had to go through that, glad to hear you have some good friends at work.

Take care

 
At 05 July, 2006 18:21, Blogger squarepeg said...

Oh man that stinks. Why is it that morons are always fertile? There is no justice in the world. I'm very glad you have some confidants at work - as IF is something that is always on your mind, it helps to be able to vent, rage, or even meltdown during the day. And your meltdown sounds very impressively contained and professionally handled. I hope *you* get to share good news soon.

 
At 05 July, 2006 20:31, Blogger Angie said...

Oh I am so very sorry. Please get some rest and take care of yourself. I wish I could give you a big HUG!

 
At 06 July, 2006 00:39, Blogger Bronwyn said...

Workplace meltdowns suck, but at least you had an ally. Isn't it amazing that it's always the morons who have no problem reproducing? (Okay, just trying to inject a little levity)

Thinking of you.

 
At 06 July, 2006 01:21, Anonymous paige said...

Thank goodness for great friends. Sounds like you were lucky to have two there. And you meltdown was contained there! Sounds like a great job to me. Sorry you had to go through this at all. Sometimes I wonder how we can surrvive not only IF but having to pretend everything is ok at work. You did great

 
At 06 July, 2006 13:42, Blogger Shazz said...

Been there done that and I am so sorry! Sending you a big hug.

 
At 06 July, 2006 16:06, Blogger Kath said...

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Dear Lut, I'm so glad you had kind people to escape to.

 
At 06 July, 2006 16:29, Blogger Rumour Miller said...

Long time reader, first time poster (I think).

I can totally relate... when my cousin was PG I would feel the same way every time I saw her and DH and I would do our best to avoid her.

If you visit my blog, I just wanted to pre-warn you that children are discussed.

I hope you are feeling better.

 
At 06 July, 2006 21:13, Blogger ChicagoGirl said...

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that but I'm glad you had good friends nearby to help you through it.

 
At 06 July, 2006 21:15, Anonymous Wavery said...

You did the right thing by going to your friends and I'm glad they were there for you.

Moron is a clueless idiot and doesn't deserve or need your courtesy. Good for you, take care of yourself.

 
At 06 July, 2006 23:09, Blogger S said...

Oh, Lut, that really sucks-I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

You're very lucky to have friends like that at work, who took care of you. It's nice to have that.

As for Moron, just kick him in the balls if he tries to corner you again-if anything, it will make you feel a little better....

:)

 

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