Monday, November 27, 2006

Addendum

Some of you were surprised about the anonymous-only policy regarding donors at my clinic.

This is due to clinic policy, not legislation. The reason is that they consider known donor too 'messy'. Sure, you're best friends/sisters/cousins now, but what about later? They seem to feel that the risk of boundary issues between the donor and the recipients is too great.
That, and the hospital has Christian roots, which makes it a tad conservative. For instance, they only treat hetero couples (married or living together, surprisingly).

They have a sperm bank they work with. They don't provide egg donors, you have to find your own. Anonymity is ensured by doing cross donorship. Couple A finds donor A. Couple B finds donor B. Couple A uses B's eggs, couple B uses A's eggs.

Another Big Clinic does accept known donors, though they're not keen either.
They also do egg-sharing, which my clinic doesn't.

As far as I know anonymous really means anonymous. I'm sure they register the identities of all donors, but they never ever give the child access. None of the clinics want to change this, because this would lead to a serious shortage in (sperm) donors.

I've never heard of voluntary identity-release schemes either, where the donor would give permission to release his identity when the child reaches a certain age.

At this point, I don't know how I feel about all of this. There are so many issues to consider. Right now, I'm making a conscious effort not to dwell on the donor route.
My reasons are pragmatic, I need to let it all rest.

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9 Comments:

At 27 November, 2006 22:07, Anonymous JMW said...

Maybe it's just me, but when I hear of clinics that will do only anon donations I think "lazy." They don't want to have to administrate a contact list of donors over many decades in case the offspring want to get in touch. And they don't want to deal with the complications that could arise. They just want to make their $10grand+ from you and never have to deal with you again. Perhaps I am too cynical?

We are considering DE and because of my abovementioned cynicism, I won't cycle at a clinic that refuses known donors.

 
At 27 November, 2006 23:18, Blogger Lut C. said...

I believe the law requires they have to preserve records on all donors anyway. There is a limit on the amount of children one donor may sire, so they have to keep track. Also, if later in life, the donor turns out the have a serious hereditary condition, they inform his offspring (I think). Perhaps I'm being naive.

Taxes are high on this side of the Atlantic, but it gets us excellent health care, including subsidized ART. Clinics negotiate fixed prices with the government, which means they get a much, much better deal.

 
At 28 November, 2006 16:23, Anonymous Lori said...

Very interesting on no known donors and limiting the number of offspring.
I'll be thinking of you as you look over the options and come up with a plan going forward.

 
At 28 November, 2006 19:13, Anonymous Josie said...

I agree - it is best not to dwell until you need to, or at least until it is the possible next step. So, don;t think of my following babble as assvice, but rather me just commenting.

Here in the states (and specifically in MN), each clinic has their own policy about donors. If you do use a known donor you have to have a legal agreement that states the terms and also absolves the clinic from involvement if there is a custody challenge. Our reasons for using a known donor are purely financial. If it would not cost so incredibly much to use an anon donor we would not have a problem with it.

 
At 29 November, 2006 16:06, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

All clinics/countries seem to have different policies. My clinic will not do anon - it has to be open. Plus, if you do egg donor it has to be out of the good of your heart, the couple receiving the eggs can't even pay for your meds (at least the clinic can't know about it).
It's hard not to think a step ahead but I hope that this next cycle is a success so you don't have to.

 
At 02 December, 2006 00:21, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I'm surprised. Are you in the states? or elsewhere?

I guess i could sortof understand that they wouldn't do known donor. sort of. but they also won't find an anonymous donor for you? that makes no sense.

the rules around all this stuff make no sense. oh well. you're not there yet, so let's not worry about it.

I am doing a known donor cycle with my sister.

 
At 07 December, 2006 03:46, Blogger Debbi said...

Letting it all rest is a great idea. You can absorb all of this slowly over time when you get there.

 
At 08 December, 2006 03:27, Blogger Millie said...

Your clinic is quite, um, interesting on this point. They are certainly not in line with how most clinics (and many countries) are heading.

There are always other options if you decide you want more info/your children to have more info. Just putting that out there. But you know that already.

 
At 11 December, 2006 10:09, Blogger ankaisa said...

So if you do not have any suitable friends or family to be the egg donor, you can not do DE? If you really, really do not have anyone to be the anonymous donor for the other couple? Yeah, your clinic is interesting...

 

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