Monday, December 18, 2006

Spilling the beans

Some of you may remember that DH and I have been playing the to-tell-or-not-to-tell his parents game for quite some time. This weekend we visited them on our own, the perfect opportunity. DH still wanted to stall, but I insisted. They're already worried about us anyway and probably imagining worse things than are true. 'Mm', was his response, 'we'll see how well they're dealing with the news of Nephew#1's illness'.

After an hour or so of chatting about this and that, amongst which Nephew#1's illness and the strained relationship they have with his parents (SIL and BIL#1), just as I was plucking up the courage, DH broached the subject. (GOOD! The burden shouldn't always be on me.)

Their reaction was better than we anticipated. As I thought, they had guessed more or less what was up. MILs biggest fear is that we might split up over this. I have many fears about our future, but this isn't one of them (rightly or wrongly so). We didn't go into great detail about our diagnosis or treatment plan. There's no point in overwhelming them, besides I don't need more people on my call-with-bad-news list.

We're not planning to tell SIL+BIL #1 and #2 for now, but we assured them that if they were to spill the beans by accident, it wouldn't matter.

In other news, I've finished the BCPs for my rest cycle this Sunday. On Christmas day I can start BCPs again in preparation for our next cycle. When my period deigns to make an appearance I'll call my doctor to order my medication. Or shall I send a Christmas card?

Meanwhile ... it's the season to feel grumpy ... tralalala lalala la

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17 Comments:

At 18 December, 2006 23:41, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am glad that they handled the news well. I am sure that is a relief for you and DH. Good for your husband for having the courage to bring it up.

 
At 19 December, 2006 03:12, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must admit we told our parents partially for financial rather than emotional support. Mine have yet to follow through although they have promised - I am not holding my breath or expecting anything either. At least the pressure is now off - like you need one more thing to think about.

Doesn't it feel good to be doing something, even if it is just taking BCP's?

 
At 19 December, 2006 03:20, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's good they handled the news well. We've told ours the same level of detail - I think it's a nice level to sit at. Hopefully you'll continue to be glad they know. And well done to DH for bringing it up!

Bea

 
At 19 December, 2006 04:25, Blogger My Reality said...

I am feeling grumpy along with you. I am gladd spilling the beans went ok.

 
At 19 December, 2006 05:53, Blogger the waiting line said...

Good news on the spilling the beans and good luck on your upcoming cycle.

. . . PG drivebys suck, no matter what.

 
At 19 December, 2006 09:44, Blogger Twisted Ovaries said...

We will indeed be cycling at the same time then.

Good to know they handled the news well-one less stress off your shoulders.

 
At 19 December, 2006 18:50, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad they sounded supportive and also nice they didn't pry about the treatment information. I couldn't imagine having to call the inlaws each month to update them either!

Hopefully those BCPs will get your body geared up for a great cycle to start the new year.

 
At 19 December, 2006 23:34, Blogger projgen said...

Glad you had such a good talk with the in-laws, and that they responded so well. One less thing to worry about!

 
At 20 December, 2006 03:27, Blogger Beagle said...

I'm with you on the grumpy thing.

Good Luck this cycle! Glad the inlaws took the news well. Hopefully they can be part of your cheering squad now (in a nonintrusive way of course!)

 
At 20 December, 2006 19:07, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Lut, I read your post the other day but forgot to comment...

I'm so glad that the "telling" went well. It's so nice that DH started the discussion - for me, that is always the hardest part. There's never a good segue, or way to start the IF topic.

I hope you are feeling some relief now that the beans have been spilled. I know I did!

I hope your holidays are OK... I'm grumpy too and generally just trying to ignore the fact that it's Christmas time.

 
At 21 December, 2006 06:20, Anonymous Jys said...

That's a big relief to have told them, I'm sure.
Personally I don't think your MIL has a thing to worry about - IF brought me and DH closer, not split us. I think sometimes an experience like this can miraculously only bond you more.

Praying for you next cycle!!

 
At 21 December, 2006 23:33, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good job by the DH! That's such a tough conversation. Mine just told his parents we are pg and they had NO IDEA that we had gone through so much with i/f. The PG wasn't a big deal to them, really. Strange.

 
At 21 December, 2006 23:53, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupid blogger has kept me from being able to say anything nice to you for a while. Now that it's cooperating, just wanted to agree with everyone else about how good it was for the IL's to be supportive when you told them the news. It's so hard to talk about out loud, isn't it?

I'm hoping that your Christmas present this year is a successful IVF cycle... surely that's got to be the reason you start the newest round on Christmas, right?

Sorry you've got the grumps. The holidays are hard sometimes.

Hugs to you.

 
At 22 December, 2006 10:03, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey that's great news. I have to say my IL's have been better than my own family.
Great news about starting the BCP's.

 
At 27 December, 2006 01:15, Anonymous Alexa said...

Wow, I'm so glad the family reacted well--I remember your posts about the conflict over telling them!
It must be good to be moving on, even if it is just the BCP portion of the cycle. Waiting is hard.
I really hope this is it for you...

 
At 29 December, 2006 02:06, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem. It's been a little while since you posted... just wondering how you're doing...

 
At 31 December, 2006 03:06, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad the inlaws took the news well- and that you have a plan in place! I hope the holidays are mellow for you and next year is a good one!

 

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