Sunday, January 28, 2007


Thanks for your input on my dosage. After only two nights of shots, I felt occasional twinges in my abdomen. My imagination, surely, or wishful thinking. Or perhaps not, my short ride on the hometrainer was definitely more uncomfortable than before.* On Wednesday I'll find out if it's all in my head or not.

Meanwhile fertility abounds elsewhere, as usual. A colleague and his wife waiting for their second child to be born, any day now. It's their second child since we've been failing for one. Right now, I'm surprisingly cool with that.

A dear friend has just had her first baby. I'm planning to visit her next friday, but have delegated the gift shopping to my mom.

This afternoon, BIL and SIL#2 came to visit with their adorable 8 month old son. A delightful little boy, who - I hope - charmed DH a bit. I was charmed more than I needed to be, but not more than I could bear.

I feel I'm dissociating myself from other people's babies. It has nothing to do with me, why should I be affected? I cannot imagine us ever being successful with treatment. And even though I can imagine us adopting down the line (in a far and distant future), that would most likely be a toddler, not baby. It's a coping method, useful, but I'm constantly aware of the fragility of it's protection.

* I bought myself an indoor bike for Christmas. The leaflet says moderate exercise is warranted in the
beginning. I take that very seriously. ;-)

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At 28 January, 2007 22:11, Blogger Thalia said...

I'm impressed about the hometrainer. I would have thought that cycling was pretty much fine the whole way through the cycle, so yyou chose well! When is your first scan?

At 28 January, 2007 22:28, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lut, good job on the stationary bike! Cycling while cycling... has a ring to it.

I can so relate to disassociating yourself from children right now.

And I hope that your twinges mean lots of follicle growth!

At 28 January, 2007 23:04, Blogger My Reality said...

I have gone through phases where I disassociate myself from all things baby related. Then I go through phases where I don't. I think it all depends on what you need at the time.

Do whatever it takes to protect your heart, especially in the middle of a cycle.

At 28 January, 2007 23:24, Blogger Fertile Soul said...

It's interesting, i feel disassociated from babies as well. It's very strange, almost oxymoronic, coming from someone who wants one so gash darn badly.

At 29 January, 2007 04:09, Blogger Sparkle said...

It's always the anticipation of meeting up with others and their babies that kills me. Once there, I'm usually fine, and save up all the stupid comment for Mr. S in the car on the way home.
Can't wait for the first scan report.

At 29 January, 2007 05:32, Blogger Bea said...

To be honest, I wonder how much of this guilt at dissociating from new parents is manufactured. A certain amount of dissociation is bound to happen as our paths diverge, right? Except normally it's down to different priorities and don't have time - which is acceptable - rather than jealousy (or perceived jealousy) - which is apparently not.

But it sounds like it's going well for you cycle-wise. Take it easy on that bike, now.


At 29 January, 2007 06:20, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I've ever had trouble with babies or kids, just their moms, particularly if they happen to be pregnant.

At 29 January, 2007 19:55, Anonymous projgen said...

moderate exercise: sitting on the bike, feet up on the handlebars, while watching tv and drinking a glass of white wine.


I hear ya on the disassociating thing. I've been trying it, and it usually seems to work for me. I'm glad you seem to be finding a good place for yourself, emotionally.

At 30 January, 2007 09:38, Blogger Meri-ann said...

My bike/trainer thingy is still kicking my butt.....

As for the disassociation- I totally relate. Self preservation is a godsend.

At 30 January, 2007 20:45, Blogger ellie said...

I think you are doing an awesome job of taking care of yourself! Good for you. I like the cycling while cycling- that is cute and I hope everything goes well this round.

At 30 January, 2007 21:52, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

I hope your ovaries are in full swing by now. The twinges are encouraging! I'm hoping you are going to see all types of confirmation of growth tomorrow.

The dissociation is a healthy way of coping. I like it.

Take it easy on the bike!


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