Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Stir it up

Birthdays really stir up some emotions! Thanks for sharing - good, bad and ugly.

About the timeline, what gets to me most is the irony of the situation. Life is not something you can plan. For the most part, I've approached it as such and rolled from one thing to the next. Of course one can dream and have ambitions.

The 30-thing was never meant as a firm deadline, it was a way to decide
on my priorities. I innocently thought that 5 years was a pretty wide
margin to have 1 child, maybe 2. One of the reasons I had the audacity to even consider such a plan is that I was in a stable relationship (then boyfriend, current husband).

I know there is no lesson here. Other people do plan they're lives in much more detail, and get away with it. It's just one of those things that comes back to haunt you.


In cycle news, I never did call my doctor. I did decide to start sniffing 4 days earlier than originally scheduled, and to stop the BCP 4 days earlier too. Baseline scan is still scheduled for next Monday, which should be CD 2 or 3. What a coincidence. ;-)

I find I'm obsessing more about the cycle than I would like, but what can one expect. I only have an alarm going off 4 times a day, so I don't forget my medication. I'm worried, but also eager to get this attempt over and done with. Who knows, we might make some progress.

10 Comments:

At 17 January, 2007 02:22, Anonymous Margo said...

Good luck with this cycle Lut!

 
At 17 January, 2007 02:34, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry I missed your birthday - I meant to post, then got jealous of you turning 30, then got to reminiscing about where I was at 30, opened up some photo albums... and then whoops!

Hope it was lovely. Wishing you gorgeous eggs the size of birthday balloons, round, healthy, ready to meet up with some little soldiers and start dividing...

:)

 
At 17 January, 2007 12:31, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very good luck, Lut...

 
At 17 January, 2007 16:42, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck to you!

Welcome to the Thirties, where you can still party like the Twenties, as long as you get to bed by 11.

 
At 17 January, 2007 20:06, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lut C..how could you not obsess about this cycle when you are gently reminded 4 times a day by an alarm. It's like a bad Pavlov dog experiment, isn't it?

Good luck with this cycle. Birthday wishes do come true (at least they better, damn it!!!) :)

 
At 18 January, 2007 00:07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lut - I know exactly what you mean about planning... I think accepting our lack of control is probably the most positive thing we can do in this whole IF business.

I am cheering for you this cycle! Let there be lots of great eggs, let them *fertilize*, and let at least one of them grow up to be your baby!

It is so difficult not to obsess when it's your body going through everything. I'm trying really hard too - and it's going OK so far, but I know as I get closer to retrieval and (hopefully) transfer, I will be a complete mess. What can you do?

 
At 18 January, 2007 21:45, Blogger ms. c said...

Rooting for you, and thinking positive thoughts for the cycle!
Sometimes it is not an option not to obsess...

 
At 19 January, 2007 00:25, Anonymous projgen said...

To progress! (imagine I'm raising a drink. In about two hours, I won't have to imagine it, myself ;) )

 
At 19 January, 2007 01:22, Blogger Sparkle said...

I think obsessing about a second cycle is always abit more stressful.
You are right - you will find out if ICSI is the solution - and hopefully it will be.

 
At 19 January, 2007 14:07, Blogger Josie said...

In IVF there seems to be many ways a girl can be tortured. Of those many, I have found 2 particularly burdensome. One is when things don't go well in the process (like no fert) and the other is the anticipation of things not going well again.

We had no fert our 1st IVF and even though we did have some with #2 (it was low) I still obsess that #3 will be back like #1. So rather than tell you everything will be ok (because I know that you know I have no way of knowing that :-), I can just add that with ICSI you do have a far better shot.

 

<< Home