Saturday, October 27, 2007

Home. Overwhelmed.

Last Thursday, we brought our little girl home with us from the
maternity ward. In one word an overwhelming moment.

We're doing well, though emotions have been running high due to
hormones, the all-encompassing sense of responsibility for this tiny,
helpless human being and the fear of doing something wrong.

Breastfeeding has been a struggle, but things seem to be improving
thanks to the encouragement and advice of a midwife / lactation

I will post more when I am able. This is the first time I've managed
to log on to the internet since getting back from the hospital!


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

On the eve ...

Those of you who have been following here long enough may have noted
that I haven't written the usual survivor's guilt post. The reason is
very simple, I don't consider myself a survivor yet.

On the eve of the Insider's appointed birth day, I feel very much like
I'm a contestant in one of those '80s game shows. Lot's of glitter
and gold on the set, the host has a bad toupée, his lovely assistent
is showing plenty of cleavage and pearly white toothy smile and the
male voice-over Speaks With an Odd IntonatioooooN!!!

I've made it through to the finals and am now standing in front of the
Door With The Prize (the door with the blinking lights around it). But
there's no telling what is behind it (not the washer-dryer combo,
please!). It could be Cloud Number Nine. But it could also be the Deep
Dark Pit of Despair. Most likely it will be some combination of both,
usually with more of the former than of the latter.

The only way to find out is to open the door and walk through. You'll
understand my palms are getting a bit sweaty as I eye the handle.
Though I am nervous (and so is DH) there is also a great sense of
excitement and fortune at having made it this far.

The C-section is supposed to take place tomorrow afternoon, we weren't
given an exact time. I'm pretty sure the hospital doesn't offer
internet yet, so I'll be off line for my entire stay, probably a week.
I will send word to Nina by text message, though don't expect news too
early in the day. We may temporarily forget how to operate one of
those cordless distance talking contraptions.

Thank you for all the well wishes and see you on the other side.


Saturday, October 06, 2007

36w6d: setting the date

In brief: Insider doing good, we have a date for the C-section, still
debating names!

Last Thursday we had another check-up at the ob/gyn. The Insider now
weighs an estimated 2.3 kg (= 5 lbs?), (up from 2 kg at the previous
visit). The doctor is confident that we'll make it to at least 2.5 kg
(=5.5 lbs?) at time of birth. Babies lighter than 2.5 stay in the
special care unit, babies heavier can stay in the mother's room
(barring other health issues).

The u/s showed the baby is still in breech. Not a surprise to me,
because I clearly feel the position of the head and the feet. In
theory, the doctor could have attempted a manual version, but she
wasn't keen and nor was I. The anterior placenta lowers the chances of
it working and increases the risks involved. Also, the baby being on
the light side makes the doctor want to be more cautious.

In stead we moved straight on to setting a date for a C-section:
October 18th. We've decided not to tell family and friends the exact
date, so I feel a bit guilty about spilling the beans to the whole
internet. Then again, that's what I've been doing here since I started
blogging, so why stop now.
The reason we're not telling is to avoid being harassed with phone
calls on the big day (or the maternity ward being harassed) and
because I might not be in the mood for visitors right after surgery.
I'm sure there are some relatives who would show up regardless of how
I felt, out of sheer enthusiasm.

I've resigned myself to the C-section, though it's not exactly what I
was hoping for. I'm sure there's a lobby group out there advocating
vaginal deliveries for breech babies, but I'm not up for it. The risk
is undeniably higher of something going wrong, and I'm not prepared to
take it. C-sections bring their own set of risks with them, but I
trust my doctor when she's says it's the route to go.

Meanwhile, we're still debating about names. We settled on a girl's
name months ago without any trouble, but can't find a boy's name we
both like. We don't want a common name, not common to our region
anyway, but don't want to be too extravagant either.