Sunday, November 04, 2007

What I do all day

I'm still here, just can't manage to make it to the computer. Breastfeeding is kicking my butt. My milk hasn't come in as it should and demand outstrips supply by far. Linnea is getting supplement formula, because her health comes first of course. A midwife is coming nearly every day to check up on us and give guidance on breastfeeding.
My days are chopped up in three hour blocks: first let Linnea breastfeed, then give her supplement formula by way of finger feeding, next pump for extra stimulation. On my own, that takes about an hour and a half, leaving me another hour and a half to sleep, or eat, or shower, or log on to the internet. That, and it's hard to type while gazing at that lovely little face.

On this note, I guess I am now officially a mommy blogger. Amazing.

IF survivor's guilt is now setting in, a fitting sentiment, though utterly useless at the same time. This is the time for me to nod goodbye to some of you in silence. If only my wishes would make a difference.
I want to thank each and every one of you for your support over the last years, it has made a world of difference.

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12 Comments:

At 05 November, 2007 00:14, Blogger Heather said...

Congratulations on officially being a Mommy blogger!!

 
At 05 November, 2007 03:46, Blogger Bea said...

Thanks for reminding me to move you on my blogroll! You're officially in the "parent" category now. A whole new game.

Bea

 
At 05 November, 2007 22:37, Blogger DinosaurD said...

Bit isn't it cool? (being a mommy blogger?)
DinoD

 
At 06 November, 2007 13:00, Blogger Sara said...

I'm so happy that you're a mommy blogger now!

Good luck sorting out the breastfeeding, and coming to grips with the survivor's guilt.

 
At 06 November, 2007 13:06, Blogger ms. c said...

Your support has menat the world also- thank YOU!
Welcome to mommy blogging. Best of luck with the breastfeeding.

 
At 07 November, 2007 02:38, Blogger millie said...

A mommy blogger. That is so wonderful.


I hope that things get easier.

There's no room for guilt.

 
At 07 November, 2007 10:56, Anonymous Meg said...

You're not leaving ius, Lut?!

(I'm sorry you're having to do the damn feed/supp/pump thing. Email if you need any help with that stuff xx)

 
At 07 November, 2007 21:26, Anonymous Sassy said...

Mommy blogger. :) Wow.

 
At 08 November, 2007 23:48, Blogger survivingttc said...

Lut, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Congratulations and congratulations AGAIN on your precious little miracle and her safe arrival!!!!
Breast feeding is so hard those 1st few weeks but I simply have to commend you so much for the effort you are putting in.
Its a mad world those first few weeks but it gets so much better. For a while there I simply could not imagine how I would have a resemblence of a normal life right after delivery, even though I was extatic and BLESSED every moment of it - but it got so much easier. Just thought I'd drop some encouragement your way.

I came to post on my own blog today since it was a year since ER today. LOTS and LOTS of sentimental feelings of looking back.
I also know what you mean about survivor's guilt. Why IF is so unfair I don't know. And those of us who survive are not necessarily spared gut-wrenching emotions either.
I wish you so much luck with your new little one and those first months and will be coming to read!
Jys

 
At 09 November, 2007 02:29, Blogger My Reality said...

A mommy blogger. How cool is that? Congrats on getting to the other side.

I can't wait to hear more about your daughter!

 
At 09 November, 2007 08:58, Blogger katty said...

I'm very happy for you, Lut.
Don't feel survivors guilt.
As for the breast feeding: It's always hard at first, as far as I can see. But it DOES get easier. Three months was my breakthrough point (and I'm still breast feeding at seven months).
Congratulations. Enjoy it all. Take pictures. Gaze and be happy. They grow up amazingly fast.

 
At 11 November, 2007 14:06, Blogger Angie said...

CONGRATULATIONS! Enjoy being a Mommy blogger. Breastfeeding is very time consuming, but so rewarding too. Good luck!

 

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