Saturday, January 19, 2008

Cheek-to-cheek

On my list of things I didn't think I'd dare do is co-sleeping.
Co-sleeping is not promoted here, it was never mentioned during
pre-natal classes. I gather it isn't common in my parts and it wasn't
something I particularly wanted to do. I had wanted to get a crib you
can attach to your bed, but there isn't enough room beside our bed.
Besides, my mother had lovingly re-upholstered the family crib (which
I thankfully didn't know existed until I was 4 months PG).

In the hospital, Linnea slept blissfully in her cot day and night.
Starting with the third night, she cried after her feeds and I only
managed to console her by holding her. With the nursing pillow tucked
around her, I felt it was safe enough to doze off too. Heavenly,
though I didn't manage more than a cat nap. Once the bottlefeeding
started, she slept like a rose in her cot again.

At home, she didn't take to her crib very well. Too lonely? Too cold?
Or just too different from the hospital cot, I'll never know. After
five rounds of fetch-the-pacifier, I gave up and granted her asylum in
our bed. Sprawled on my chest, she went to sleep soon enough.

Lying on top of me was fine by Linnea of course, but I only slept
poorly. As a compromise, I made a little nest for her in our bed. I
could put my arm around her, pop her pacifier back in and soothe her
to sleep and then turn around and get some sleep myself.
First I only used a big rolled up towl to give her her own space in
bed, but I wasn't entirely confident we wouldn't roll on top of her in
the night. After giving it some thought (only a week or so) I upgraded
her to having her own pillow between us to lie on. Not a soft pillow
mind you (Child Welfare Agency says No! Soft! Pillows!), more like a
small bean bag. Truly a bed for a little princess. And that's where
she's spent almost all of her nights since we got home from the
hospital.

At about 6 weeks, I gave the crib another try. It took a couple of
rounds of fetch-the-pacifier, but she fell asleep in the crib. You
would think I'd sleep like a log, but no, when I finally drifted off
to sleep I slept fitfully. I was on edge, something was missing and I
kept straining to hear her breathing (my hearing isn't sharp enough).
The next night she was right back in her nest beside me.

Co-sleeping can't go on forever. Our bed isn't that large and she has
a perfectly good crib all to herself. Since new year, I've made a
habit of putting her into her crib for her morning nap, so she'd get
used to it at least. I anticipated trouble, but she made little fuss.
Inspired by her example (and my not being a morning person), I also
take a morning nap, generally until noon. Oddly, during my morning
nap, I'm not bothered by her not laying besides me. Must sleep.

For the past week or so, I've started putting her in her crib at
night. Some nights she goes straight to sleep, other times she needs
some comforting. I'm almost disappointed that she doesn't feel the
need to be close to me at night. So, in reality, I'm weaning myself
off of co-sleeping, not her. Because I enjoy these intimate moments
with her so much, we're now taking our morning naps together. Enjoy it
while it lasts, everyone says, and that's what I'm doing.

My little girl is 3 months old. Time has flown by. I could do a 'one
year ago' series, but won't. I haven't forgotten, but don't want to
commemorate in anniversary style.

Labels:

12 Comments:

At 19 January, 2008 17:00, Blogger Kath said...

Dear Lut, I know what you mean. We had the same thoughts and questions, especially at the beginning when I was Banana's favorite mattress, but now both she and we sleep better in our own beds. I love lying next to her so much, though, that I bring her into our bed after the seven or eight o'clock feeding for her post-breakfast snooze. I usually debate with myself for a few minutes whether I should get up and get some stuff done, but I always end up falling asleep again too. Bliss!

 
At 19 January, 2008 21:50, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Because of P's reflux, she slept in a bouncy chair for the first three months of her life. After that, she spent a lot of her naps and early morning lie-ins sleeping in the crook of my arm in bed. I know it was rather naughty, but it was so cosy. It's hard to put them in a whole other bed/crib, whether it's in your room or another bedroom!

Incidentally, until a few weeks ago P fell asleep on me for every nap time and bedtime. I would put her in her cot once she was solidly asleep, but it was so nice to have that cuddling time. I decided to stop doing that, and though she is fine in her cot now, I miss those nightly periods of closeness.

 
At 21 January, 2008 02:36, Blogger Bea said...

It's funny the ways we end up doing things differently to what we thought we would in life.

Sounds like it's going pretty well for you.

Bea

 
At 21 January, 2008 03:41, Blogger My Reality said...

If co-sleeping is what works, then there is nothing wrong with it. I am so glad you are both doing well.

 
At 21 January, 2008 20:35, Blogger lucky #2 said...

Yes, I SWORE I would never co-sleep and my daughter slept on my chest until I was 4 months. I know that it was because of her reflux. Then, I think both of us hit exhuastion and she began sleeping in the bassinet next to me and then her crib easily by 5 months.

You are right..enjoy these sweet cuddle times since they will be gone quickly! Besides, as a parent...you do what you have to do (for mommy or baby!!!)

 
At 23 January, 2008 00:08, Blogger survivingttc said...

OMG, I So relate!!! :D DD was in her bassinet up until 3 months and I was SO not ready to have her sleep in a separate room! It was just so wonderful to have her THERE with us!!! I did start having her take naps in her crib. Then one day boom, she fell asleep in her crib in the evening and didn't wake up and I decided not to move her. I figured I'll just do it or I never will. When she would wake up at night though, I'd bring her to our bed to nurse and we'll pretty much co-sleep till morning. I was just TOO exhausted to nurse any other way.
I SO understand how you have to wean YOURSELF almost more than the baby!!! :D LOL This first year is sooooooo priceless.
3 months already? OMG! Enjoy!!! :) :) :) :) The period between 3 months and 6 months has been incredible, so just when you think things don't get better they do!
Thanks for still visiting my blog btw - I'm amazed how soon after I post that you visit and make a comment - even when I am SO bad with posting! I keep promising myself I'll post more often.... :)

 
At 23 January, 2008 13:01, Blogger LL said...

We don't co-sleep (lil'mooey has spent the odd night in bed with us though.) I read something somewhere that made a lot of sense to me. Something along the lines of "As adults we don't sleep alone, yet we expect tiny babies to".

 
At 24 January, 2008 22:09, Blogger ms. c said...

What a sweet post.
Sleeping arrangements is somethng that I can't seem to decide on...
It seems that you found what worked for you, and that's fantastic. I guess you never know until the time/need arises.
I'm happy that you and Linnea are both getting some sleep.

 
At 24 January, 2008 23:17, Blogger katty said...

Sometimes, at ten months old, i sneak a crying baby into my bed at night, and lie there snuggled up while they snooze next to me - and then wake up blowing raspberries or making little lalalalala noises. My heart swells with love feeling that little warm body next to mine, and nestling my nose into their sweet biscuity smelling head...

 
At 26 January, 2008 20:11, Blogger Sparkle said...

Sounds gorgeous.
Our little one always comes into our bed in the mornings.

 
At 07 February, 2008 07:30, Blogger Sara said...

Eggbert had no interest in sleeping alone when she was born, and honestly still doesn't. At first I hated co-sleeping, because I was terrified that I'd smush her. Now I must admit that I love waking up and finding her right there. I'll be happy in some ways when she consents to sleep in her crib, but I also know that in some ways, I'll really miss our co-sleeping days.

 
At 11 February, 2008 02:58, Blogger Sassy said...

It's been a while, how are you?

 

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