Monday, February 18, 2008

4 months today!

Linnea is 4 months old today. I can barely believe it. She's grown a
lot in that time. She weighs 6 kg now (born at 2,8) and measures 61 cm
(born at 48 cm). Amazing!

A year ago I was still in the 2WW. I can barely imagine where I would
be today if that cycle hadn't worked. Tried a FET? Done another fresh
cycle, or two? Racked up some more BFN's? Endured a loss? Spiraled
deeper into depression or regained my footing in spite of adversity?
There's no way of knowing and frankly I'd rather not think about it
too much. In stead, I thank my lucky stars daily.

Reading about the horrible losses others are suffering, remind me how
easily things could have been so very different. And there's nothing I
can say that will make it any better for them. Bliss ought to be
something you could bake cookies out of, so you could pass them around
and share at least a moments worth with others. I found it easier to
share my misery with others than I do my happiness. My unhappiness
spread around me like ripples on a lake, even when I wanted to contain
it. I wish my happiness would do the same, but I find it takes effort
to come out.

Here are a number of things I want to remember about my girl ...

... the way she paddles her feet against my thigh when I nurse her
lying in bed.
... how her little fingers move as if they're dancing.
... the expressions on her face as she nurses.
... how she smiles on the boob towards the end of a feed.
... the way she coos at me on the changing table, looking at me
intensely, telling me a story in a language I don't understand but
somehow the message still comes across.
... napping, belly-to-belly.
... how she lifts her leg while nursing, like the gauge on the gas tank.
... that universal baby expression of distress when she cries.
... those gorgeous smiles she's so generous with.

Only one more month off from work ...


At 19 February, 2008 02:27, Blogger Bea said...

It's good to have these things to remember, and it's good to remember them.


At 19 February, 2008 02:45, Blogger Sassy said...

It's so great to hear from you. I'm glad you're both happy and healthy. She sounds like a real cutie.

At 19 February, 2008 10:06, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lut, that sounds wonderful -- and it is so good to hear you so happy.

I had to laugh about Linnea lifting her leg during nursing -- Banana does that too!

At 19 February, 2008 13:50, Blogger Beagle said...

Beautiful post.

At 19 February, 2008 16:40, Blogger lucky #2 said...

That is a great list of precious memories of your daughter. I am glad that you recorded them for posterity!

Somehow, I have a feeling that your happiness exudes from you right now (at least it does in your posts), so you don't even have to "share" it with others.

At 19 February, 2008 21:34, Blogger Thalia said...

pob does that leg lifting thing too, it's terribly sweet.

Sounds like the nursing is going better?

At 20 February, 2008 01:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy 4 months!

At 22 February, 2008 13:19, Blogger Mony said...

Thank Goodness you updated! I was desperate for news!
You sound great xxx

At 22 February, 2008 13:21, Blogger Mony said...

I just realise that Linnea & Cooper are one day apart. She was born on the 18th right? He was the 17th!

At 23 February, 2008 14:24, Blogger Sara said...

I'm glad to hear how happy you are. I love the cookie metaphor. Wish it were true.

I would write nearly the same list (and Linnea's birth stats are almost exactly the same as Eggbert's). Happy four month birthday little one!

At 26 February, 2008 03:38, Blogger ms. c said...

Wow: Bliss ought to be
something you could bake cookies out of, so you could pass them aroundand share at least a moments worth with others.

That`s the best thing I`ve read in a long time. What a perfect thought.

Happy 4 months, Linnea! (And to you too, Lut.)

At 27 February, 2008 19:55, Blogger namaste said...

Your post made me smile. Aren't our babies just delicious?

At 02 March, 2008 17:28, Blogger ms. c said...

Lut- thanks a million for pointing me towards the Leery Polyp. You're the best.
Hope all is well.

At 02 March, 2008 19:53, Blogger katty said...

very sweet.

At 17 March, 2008 02:10, Blogger Bumble said...

4 months already! Its sounds like she's just gorgeous and you're loving being her mommy. So nice to hear from you x

At 25 March, 2008 01:48, Blogger projgen said...

Coming in late to the party - now she's 5 months! :)

But I had to comment, because you sound so happy. Bliss was the word you used, no? Sounds very appropriate! I am totally over the moon for you!!

At 11 April, 2008 06:39, Blogger soralis said...

Wow 4 months already! Enjoy!


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