Friday, April 25, 2008

6 months and one week

6 months ago we brought our lovely daughter Linnea home from the hospital.
She's grown a lot in that time, she's 18 cm taller and 4,3 kg heavier than at birth. (48 -> 66 cm and 2,8 kg -> 7,1 kg).

Linnea does many of the things an average 6-month old does. She's mastering the art of sitting, splashes in the bath tub, hits the table with her hands, ... She hasn't yet learned to roll, but it's on her list of todo's. She giggles, mostly at the antics of her dad.

I'm still using the SNS for her nighttime feed, and in the mornings when I don't have to go to work. All other feeds are bottle feeds. Of course this means supply has gone from low to pitiful. Why do I persist then with the SNS? Out of convenience, I can feed Linnea in bed, while reading a book or having a snooze. I'm sure you can manage it with a bottle too, but I haven't applied myself to learning it.

We started introducing solid food a month ago, but Linnea's reaction is still lukewarm. She's willing to try what I prepare, but after a few spoonfuls she loses interest it seems. Distracting her with a toy helps a bit, when she opens her mouth to put the toy in, I sneak in a spoonful of food.

Work

I started working again one month ago. I'm working part-time (50%) but soon will go back to fulltime. I wasn't looking forward to work, I haven't particularly enjoyed being back. The burn-out I felt before I left hasn't disappeared, it was just in hiding.
The easy answer is look for another job, but that's not so simple in practice. I'd probably have to retrain considerably.
Some days I dream of being a SAHM, but I haven't gone so far as to calculate whether we could afford it (perhaps if we change our lifestyle considerably). I don't think it would be the best for Linnea either. I feel I have gotten the hang of caring for her (feeding, bathing, clothing, ...), but I'm not sure I'm stimulating enough for her. I notice that spending days with her grandmother or her daddy do her good.


Round two?


On occasion I think about a sibling for Linnea. My husband feels more strongly about this than I do, he doesn't want her to be an only child. I'm so content with her right now, that I can't imagine ever wanting a second child with the sense of urgency that I wanted a first. I can imagine being happy with our only child.
That said, we will probably try again. When, I don't know. I doubt it will be this year.

TMI

My body is clearly in no hurry to start again. I was starting to wonder wether I'd ever get a period again, when - just in time for Linnea's 6 months - the floodgates opened. I had forgotten how hemorrhagic they were, quite revolting, and inconvenient.
I thought only exclusive breastfeeding could delay menstrual cycles for that long. Maybe frequency is more important than quantity? Maybe it's just coincidence.

This being an IF blog, I think talk of periods is an appropriate end to this post.

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