More blogging fodder
FM: a little boy, 3 months old.
Me: I have a girl, just over a year old.
FM: oh, I would have preferred a girl.
FM2: Me too! But I have two boys.
FM3: I have a girl. And I would have loved to have a boy.
FM4: My roommate in the maternity ward had just delivered her second
child, the result of her 20th PG. All the others had ended in M/C!
FM2: That's incredible. I can't imagine having to go through that.
FM1: Rather obsessive, if you ask me, that can't be healty.
Me: It's easy to think that if you haven't been there.
FM2: I wasn't suggesting it was crazy, but must be so hard to go through.
Me: Yes, of course it must be hard.
These women are normal. These reactions are normal. And it's good for
them that they have a place to air these feelings of disappointment in
not having had the boy/girl of their dreams. And the relief at not
being THAT women, normal.
But such conversations annoy me, and that is normal too. I keep a lid
on it, because I'm in the closet, and because I don't think the world
will adapt to my needs.
How long am I going to feel resentful? In all honesty, I think I'll
never get rid of it completely. Oh well.
Then again, much of the bitterness has left me already. It doesn't
hurt to see the children of my friends and family born within our
first year of TTC. Mostly, I forget that we could have had a child
that age, if only ... Thank goodness. One ex-IF patient (with 2
children after ART) said looking at the children of friends still
burned a hole in his heart (with no history of M/C).