Saturday, January 31, 2009

Familiar feeling

In brief: FET cycle started. Bets on when transfer will be are open.

Cycle day 1 rolled around last week (oh joy!). Today, I had my first
monitoring appointment for our FET. Though some details have changed
at the RE's office, it felt so very familiar.

The magic wand revealed one dominant follicle, at 13 mm on CD7, and a
number of smaller ones. Did I mention that my cycles have been pretty
regular since having Linnea? I'm quite amazed, and a tiny bit annoyed
since every 4 weeks is a bit too often to my liking (I know I
shouldn't complain).

Anyone want to hazard a guess when transfer might be?
Considering a textbook cycle, ovulation would be next friday and
transfer 3 days later? Reading my posts from two years ago (that
long?!), I gather we're supposed to have an 8-cell 3-day embryo in the

Since this is an unmedicated FET-cycle, I don't have to do much,
except have u/s and bloodwork done. I'm not too well prepared. I
forgot to ask the RE whether I should have had my immunity for rubella
checked again, as well as immunity for toxoplasmosis.

I'm excited to be doing this cycle (while trying to remain realistic).
In all honesty, I'm already thinking ahead to doing a fresh cycle
afterwards. To avoid delays, I'm taking care of the (minor) paperwork
involved now.

I really hope we make it to transfer. With only a single embryo on
ice I guess the odds are 50%.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Déjà vu

Warning: self-pity ahead.

About the previous post, you're right of course. I shouldn't get
worked up over what some random person says on the net.
It's always the same dribble, 90% of the time. And I don't exclude
myself from that observation.

SIL and BIL#1 called the other night, a very rare occasion. A
premonition told me to pass the phone to DH. And indeed, they called
to say they were PG with #2. I ought to be healed enough to just be
happy for them. In reality, I do wish them well and hope it goes
smoothly, but there is still a lingering envy and a sense that their
luck can only mean one thing for our FET attempt: doom. Sigh. I'm
giving myself permission to keep my distance.

My heart goes out to SIL and BIL#3, who have been TTC for at least two
years now (no ART). They suffered a M/C last year at 11 weeks. They
must feel how I felt back when SIL and BIL#1 announced their first PG,
back when we had been trying for a year, or was it two? Déjà vu.

Whine, whine, whine. Whenever the envy comes over me, I'll just have
to pinch myself and look at my Linnea.
That, and remind myself of all the other good things in my life.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Another reason to 'just get over it'

Warning, sarcasm ahead.

Because I'm interested in how to lower the environmental impact of my lifestyle, I read this opinion piece on the BBC News site: How responsible is it to have children in a world whose environmental health is already under stress.

At the time, this was the top comment:
"One of the reasons I'm not planning on having children is the environmental impact (although that is just one reason). I do think that environmental issues ought to be considered whenever government policies towards families are considered. In particular, I find state-sponsored fertility treatment disturbing, but I'm also bothered by policies of paying people to have children. Whenever the government is involved and the children aren't happening naturally, it isn't 'a police state' to ask these kinds of questions. Governments should be weighing up all sides of the issue before making policies, but as far as I can see, the environmental impact of children is never brought up." Signed Ann

And I have to say, that's a great idea Ann. Let's withhold medical treatment for illnesses to thin out the world's population.

Of course, no more fertility treatment is top on the list. It's not like these people can't just get over it or anything, they still have so much else to be thankful for (plasma tv's, exotic holidays, ...)
What about closing obstetrics alltogether? Lack of obstetric care does wonders for demographics in the developing world.

Next, let's quit treating the illnesses of dementia patients. They don't even know they're ill and dying, so they won't mind.

Cancer? No more treatment of cancer. Toxic substances as a cure, that has to be bad for the environment.
Ditto for aids medicines.

Burst appendix? Tough luck, your number is up early. Have some morphine to soften the blow.

Drunk driver mamed and all but killed you? What a pity.

Hey, why not be proactive too? Free abortions for everyone, no restrictions either.

The list could just go on and on. We could halve the population in a matter of decades!

Aaargghhh! "Just ADOPT" was annoying enough, but now this! Just get over it for the environment's sake! Why should the burden of keeping the worlds population in check only fall on the shoulders of the infertiles? Think about it, how likely is that segment of the population to have large families? Even with treatment!

If we're going to factor in carbon cost of medical treatments, and compare with years of increased quality of life gained, I bet A.R.T. is an absolute bargain.

I tried to just get it out of my head, but it kept irritating me. It's just me being too sensitive, I'm sure, and defensive because of course I do choose to do A.R.T.