Friday, January 16, 2009

Déjà vu

Warning: self-pity ahead.

About the previous post, you're right of course. I shouldn't get
worked up over what some random person says on the net.
It's always the same dribble, 90% of the time. And I don't exclude
myself from that observation.

SIL and BIL#1 called the other night, a very rare occasion. A
premonition told me to pass the phone to DH. And indeed, they called
to say they were PG with #2. I ought to be healed enough to just be
happy for them. In reality, I do wish them well and hope it goes
smoothly, but there is still a lingering envy and a sense that their
luck can only mean one thing for our FET attempt: doom. Sigh. I'm
giving myself permission to keep my distance.

My heart goes out to SIL and BIL#3, who have been TTC for at least two
years now (no ART). They suffered a M/C last year at 11 weeks. They
must feel how I felt back when SIL and BIL#1 announced their first PG,
back when we had been trying for a year, or was it two? Déjà vu.

Whine, whine, whine. Whenever the envy comes over me, I'll just have
to pinch myself and look at my Linnea.
That, and remind myself of all the other good things in my life.


At 17 January, 2009 00:16, Blogger Heather said...


Those announcements are never easy. Maybe you and couple #3 can do something together?

At 17 January, 2009 03:26, Blogger lucky #2 said...

I wonder if anyone that has struggled with IF will ever find that sort of announcement "easy?"

Sadly, IL#1 probably are clueless to the fragile state of their family members when they share their news. Hugs

At 17 January, 2009 04:42, Blogger Meg said...

Oh, I know. Just on thursday I was greeted by two new pregnancy announcements in my mother's group.

That's to add to the two pregnancies that already existed there (20 weeks plus) and the two babies that were just born. It was bound to happen - it was a "first-time parents" group, but still... ouch. I only just managed to act happy. One I can cope with, but TWO.

I honestly don't think we'll ever be 100% over this.

At 17 January, 2009 06:14, Blogger Soralis said...

6 transfers, 2 Pg's later, I still have issues hearing announcements...

Take care

At 17 January, 2009 16:08, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if the news will ever be easy to hear. I rejoice in the hard earned pregnancy announcements, but the ones where people decide to have a baby and do? That stings a whole lot.

At 17 January, 2009 20:20, Blogger Aurelia said...

Annoucements do sting, don't they....especially among clueless people.

But you know it won't affect your FET, silly, so stop that.

And yeah, that previous post is quite the kicker too. Maybe you need to focus on the positive news in life?

At 17 January, 2009 22:52, Anonymous Nina said...

I can just join into the choir of "me too me too, pregnancy announcements always hurt". I really hope though that you and SIL/BIL#3 will soon be celebrating good news together.

In my weird "high-like" state of being I'm going to say that I am so so hopeful for you and hubby though. Many hugs.

At 19 January, 2009 12:02, Blogger Bea said...

It's so hard to think other announcements won't affect your cycle. I know it was just coincidence because everyone was having babies all the time around us, but there is a kid in our circle of friends born around the due date of every single last one of our failed cycles. Strangely, the only friend due around the time of our successful one was a fellow stirrup queen... doesn't help dispel the myth, does it?

Hope B&SIL#3 are ok.


At 28 January, 2009 19:56, Anonymous survivingttc said...

Hello Lut!!!!!!!!!
It has been SO very long. I am reading to catch up with your blog - oh my goodness, so much going on for you there!

I am about to start a FET too - this is my first attempt. So I came back to my dusty old blog to start my documenting on TTC #2 now.

Sorry about the envy about the pregnancy annoncement. Seriously I know 5 people right now expecting their #2s. Some are "oops" pregnancies and others are even worse - the "try and land on your first try" kind. Oh well. These days I don't care so much anymore and hope it stays that way. But I know how hard it can be.

Lots of love to you!


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