Monday, February 09, 2009

Doing better

Thanks for all the kind words of support. When I think about our
cancelled FET, I'm sad and disappointed still, but fortunately I don't
think about it all the time.
Linnea is on my mind more, even at work. I put a picture of her on my
computer desktop, finally. So far I hadn't, because I didn't want her
picture to sting any closet infertiles at work, if there are any. Is
that taking it too far? Perhaps. She's been on my mobile phone screen
for ages, that's nice and discrete.

What disappointed me most is having to really go through treatment
again. I resent having to rely on a whole medical team to have a
chance of having a baby. (Of course I'm grateful I have the option,
and that it has proven to work, but that doesn't make it fun.) The
FET represented a slim chance of escaping all that, and it didn't work
out.

I hope to see my RE soon to set up the plan for next time. By the time
my next period shows (in 2 weeks) + 3 weeks of BCP + 1 week waiting
for next period, 5+ weeks will have passed since DH's fever, so maybe
we won't have to wait too long after all.
(An article about fever and the impact on sperm:
http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/18/10/2089)

Towards my friends, I'm putting my happy face on. It's almost entirely
genuine, honestly. They want to see me happy because they care, and it
pains them to see me otherwise. In this case, I'm absolutely sure of
that.

I've lost friends before, partly because I shared too much of what the
rollercoaster of IF did to me (and rebuffed too well all their
attempts to say the right thing to make me feel better).

--

Linnea is mighty proud of herself that she can walk. She loves to
practice, with a big smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. Even
though it's a perfectly normal thing for her to be doing, I can't help
but feel very proud of her.

4 Comments:

At 10 February, 2009 01:15, Blogger Soralis said...

Congrats on walking.

So sorry you have to jump on the IVF train again. Good luck!

 
At 10 February, 2009 02:53, Blogger Heather said...

So sorry that you're going to have to go through this again. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 
At 10 February, 2009 22:20, Blogger Thalia said...

Hey Linnea, congratulations on your new skill!

Sorry to hear about the cancelled cycle, very crappy to have to start again, I know the feeling. Hopefully it will all go well.

 
At 11 February, 2009 01:49, Blogger My Reality said...

I hope this ride won't be long.

Great article on the sperm issue. Thank you for that.

And perhaps you could email a pic of Linnea?

 

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