Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Taking for granted ...

... is seriously underrated. How is peace of mind possible if you're
constantly considering that all may be lost tomorrow?

In brief: this one is squarely about parenting, and the fear of losing
it all again ...

Even without our rocky road to parenthood, I have always had it in me
to become an anxious and overprotective parent. Our history of IF has
pushed all my buttons hard.

Yesterday, Linnea's daycare had planned an outing to a petting zoo.
The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt at the

Two grown-ups watching 10 bouncy kids? Really? I'm sure they manage
somehow when they're at the daycare, after all the kids can't go
anywhere ... but out in the wild?

Going there and back in a sort of carts? And the kids won't jump out?
Will they make it through traffic?

What to do? Keep her home, to miss out on all the fun? Follow along?
Actually parents were invited, so that's exactly what I did (though it
was some trouble to get off from work). Only to see the trip was
excellently prepared - more responsible grown-ups were there than
usual and the carts were equipped with stay-put harnasses. The kids
were safe and had a good time.

It was nice to see Linnea enjoying herself in the daycare group. But
at the same time I felt a bit foolish at having been led by my fear.

If I would let my fear reign free, I'd be stifling my lively little girl.
I wouldn't let her
- play on the jungle jim
- dig in the sandbox in the park
- slide down the big slide
- walk besides me in town (strapped in the buggy is safer)
- jump on a trampoline
- ...

Looking ahead, judging risks and taking precautions is an essential
part of good parenting. But were does good become over the top?

I want to not take Linnea for granted, I want to consciously enjoy
spending time with her, playing, caring, parenting. I do however want
to take for granted - to a degree - that there will be many tomorrows
in which I can do so.


At 09 June, 2010 00:21, Blogger Bea said...

Such a fine line.

To my surprise, I think infertility has had the opposite effect on me. I find myself thinking of PB as indestructible, having successfully weathered the Uterus Of Doom. Must be some kind of superhero magic, right?

In any case, it sounds like you played it just right this time. Linnea went, she had fun, but you were able to supervise and also to learn an important lesson for the future - that sometimes things are under control without your worrying.

Good luck with other decisions, though. I'm sure it will continue to be hard.


At 09 June, 2010 23:07, Blogger Molly said...

What a lovely post -- when you know it would be better not to hover, but it's so hard not to.


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