Thursday, August 26, 2010

Design flaw

In brief: The cycle is chugging along. (Un)suitable surroundings for a
fertility clinic.

So, have I managed to push this cycle to the back of my mind? Yes and no.
I've certainly been fretting over the details of this attempt less
than previous times. Not because I'm hopeful, more because I feel I'm
engaged in an exercise in futility. Why even try to drum up any form
of enthusiasm for it?

At the same time, I am preoccupied by the whole thing. I can't
concentrate much on anything else, because I'm waiting. I'm waiting
for the final verdict on this attempt.
Dread is closer to the truth, then expectation though.

I'd give Linnea some extra cuddles, but she's off vacationing with her
grandparents. I'm counting the days till she's back.

The adoption people gave me a welcome boost though. They notified us
we've moved up on the waiting list a bit (still measuring in years
though). For some reason, that letter makes me smile each time I think
of it.

Now for some anecdote.

For Monday's u/s and blood draw, I had to go to another clinic then
the one I usually go to because I was out of town. The experience was
noteworthy (read: blogging fodder).

You know your fertility clinic is a small operation when:
- it is located smack in the middle of the maternity ward.
- the waiting room for the fertility clinic is also the designated
room for BF moms.
- the OR for retrieval is located across the hall from the delivery rooms.

Salt in the wounds? Why not some sulphuric acid!

I can just see how this came to be. The hospital administrators get
into a meeting room and plan the layout of their various departments.
Well they're all gynaecologists aren't they, and they all use u/s
machines and have stirrups on the beds right? Lets stick 'em all

I could all but hear the soon-to-be moms labouring in childbirth down
the hall, as I watched the soon-to-be dads pace the hall outside the
double doors.

Before Linnea, going there for treatments would have shattered me
utterly. I can imagine myself going to pieces during a retrieval,
being within earshot of the first wails of the newborns. Now, it left
me a bit disheveled, and bewildered at the thoughtlessness of the

I can think of some other insensitive locations for a fertility clinic:

- an orphanage (with kids not up for adoption) or foster home.
- a family planning centre
- I.KE.A

Any other suggestions?


At 27 August, 2010 02:46, Blogger Roccie said...

I have been laughing at IKEA for the last half hour. Every time it leaves my head, I remember it for some reason.

What a disaster!

Perhaps they could consider inside a Forever 21 so I could scope some donors? (American store, probably doesnt translate well? Picture cheap ultra trendy clothing for fashion conscious youth.)

IKEA so much funnier.

At 27 August, 2010 03:52, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The middle of the maternity ward? How horrible.

I think I would take the IKEA option, thank you very much. It is much kinder than a maternity ward.

Hope you have Linnea home soon!

At 28 August, 2010 01:34, Blogger Sara said...

I'm laughing about IKEA too. That would be something.

I can totally relate to the dread, as opposed to excitement, problem. I hope that in your case, it turns out to be misplaced.

At 28 August, 2010 10:22, Blogger Bea said...

Ikea. The mental images. Wow.

I think you've won on the unsuitable places. I think a foster home for abused children (with no option to adopt) would be marginally worse than a maternity ward but with the added bonus of being outright mean (at least there's an excuse for the maternity/infertility crossover). I don't think I can top that suggestion.

Still got my fingers very crossed for this cycle. Hope Linnea is having a blast and that you are all rested up from her vacation and ready to welcome her home.



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