Tuesday, September 14, 2010

And one phone call ...

... can be enough to make it all come crashing down. Or 5 phone calls,
if you have to chase down those lab results first. Now, I almost wish
I hadn't.

The hcg value is less than 40. The words "only slightly positive" and
"no reason for optimism" were spoken. Abysmal, in other words.
I could look up the statistics on the net, but I won't. Statistics
offer no comfort when you fall on the wrong side of them.

It seems we have caught a chemical PG in the act. Instructions are to
continue with the supplements and test again on Monday.

What can I say - I got 7 hours of joy out of this HPT. That's more
than from the last 3.


At 14 September, 2010 21:08, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this is not better news! My experiences are very similar to yours in procuring a second child - several completely negative IVF cycles, two chemical pregnancies... I know how very hard today is and I'm so sorry. We did 8 cycles over 2 years, and in the end I was unbelievably fortunate when the "use up the frozen embryos and be done with the whole thing" cycle stunned us with an actual viable pregnancy. My fingers and toes are crossed for similar good fortune for you. Very very best wishes to you and your family.

At 14 September, 2010 21:12, Anonymous Kath said...

Oh no, dear Lut. Shit. I can't even tell you how very sad and sorry I am to hear this.

What a horrible turn of events. Big, big hug, my dear.

At 14 September, 2010 21:45, Blogger noela said...

Ugh. Chemicals. God, I've been there, TWICE. :\

I'm sorry. Chemical pgs suck. They give you hope, lead you on, and then everything comes crashing down around you.

I don't have much hope for this cycle, either. They've increased my GonalF to 300, sooooo....I'm not holding out much hope for Thursday's u/s.

I'm very sorry you have to experience a chemical. :(


At 14 September, 2010 21:56, Blogger Pam said...

I'm sorry. :( I was so hoping this would work. The optimist in me hasn't given up hope just yet.

At 14 September, 2010 22:37, Blogger Heather said...

Please excuse my IVF ignorance...but how do you know it is chemical? 40 sounds good to me?

I'm so sorry if it is. I'm still holding out hope over here.

At 15 September, 2010 00:06, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Lut, I'm so sorry. The roller-coaster ride stinks. Black and white answers are easier to deal with than the limbo.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs.

At 15 September, 2010 02:17, Blogger Rachel said...

I am so sorry. Still holding out a little hope that it could still go up.

At 15 September, 2010 02:45, Blogger strongwoman said...

I'm so very sorry to hear that the news is not better after so much hope. While I'm sure this was not the news you wanted to hear, it doesn't sound like the cycle is totally over. I will keep my fingers crossed tat there is still good news in your immediate future.

At 15 September, 2010 02:46, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sigh. I am not sure there are words to make this situation better. Know I am pulling for you from this side of the world.

At 15 September, 2010 03:10, Blogger JV said...

I''ve been there and it sucks. I'm sorry it wasn't a nice strong number. But I am keeping my fingers crossed for you for a little while longer.

At 15 September, 2010 13:52, Blogger Bea said...

Crap! I thought this one was going to be positive, but I meant PROPERLY positive. I'm so sorry it has to be drawn out like this. I guess all I can do is hope for either a) a miracle or else b) a quick resolution.


At 15 September, 2010 14:17, Blogger Krista said...

I am so sorry Lut. That first post had me so happy for you. I can only imagine how you feel.

At 15 September, 2010 14:52, Anonymous Mrs. Hope said...

I am so, so sorry. What a lousy turn - I don't know what to say. Thinking of you.

At 15 September, 2010 16:03, Blogger Roccie said...

I am so very sorry Lut. Oh, it hurts so much. Seven hours is a long time to get used to being pregnant. I am so sorry.

My heart goes out to you. I found miscarriage after my little was born even harder. Difficult to imagine it can get worse, but I felt it did.

We are all here for you dear Lut.

At 16 September, 2010 00:13, Blogger Sara said...

Oy! I'm so sorry that the news wasn't more encouraging. It does seem to me that 40 isn't abysmal--if your HCG was 10 at 9dp5dt (which is positive, albeit barely), then it should have been 20 at 11dp5dt, and about 40 now if properly doubling, right? So I'll continue to hold out a little hope for you. I do understand why you're not feeling encouraged, though, and am crushed for you that you don't get to just enjoy being pregnant.


At 16 September, 2010 15:50, Anonymous Megan said...

I'm sorry to hear this. I've had low starting betas go both ways - one to a bad outcome and one to a good outcome, so I know how stressful it is. Wishing it was easier for you.


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