Monday, February 14, 2011

Coping, but without grace

It's been 5 days since I stopped the progesteron supplements. I'm
still waiting for my period to come through so we can start with the
next attempt. There's something very sad about waiting for a period I
hoped wouldn't need to show up in the first place.

I'm not coping so well at work. Sharing an office with the current PG
lady is depressing me. I was doing ok up to a week ago, but I suppose
a BFN is enough to explain the change of heart.

I cringe at the cutesy top with 'baby on board' print. When the
conversation inevitably moves to mommy talk over lunch, I fight the
urge to melt onto the floor in a puddle of tears. I make excuses and I
leave. By now, everyone must think I'm nuts.

Any day now, I'm going to crack and burst into tears at work. I hate
it when that happens.


At 14 February, 2011 23:27, Blogger BigP's Heather said...

Wow. I bow down to your Awesomeness.

I have no idea how you handle that every day.

I would be a raving, lunatic Cunt. Yes, with a capital C.

Thinking of you.

At 15 February, 2011 03:48, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it helps at all, I would also cringe at the cutesy top with "baby on board" but simply because I have some taste.
Oh... sorry... am I being snarky?
I wish I could help somehow here but I do remember exactly what it feels like - I used to call those people (easily pregnant ones) horrible names in my head. For some reason it helped but I was always worried that one day I would say ait out loud.
Take care of yourself Lut and I think crying is sometimes necessary.

At 15 February, 2011 04:27, Blogger Sara said...

I'm with DinoD here. "Baby on board"? Ack!

I'm so sorry that you are in that situation, Lut. It just sucks. You should be the one patting your belly, dammit! It's not fair.

At 16 February, 2011 21:41, Anonymous mrs. hope said...

I've come here a few times and I don't know what to say. I couldn't do what you are doing - having the baby on board garbage. I'm stunned every day at how I got where I am, and wonder how it's so for you, too.

At 20 February, 2011 21:45, Blogger Roccie said...

I can't think of a worse torture than trying not to cry at work. It is worse than no sleep.


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