Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Here we are: starting year 3

Perhaps not to the day, but it was about two years ago that we started
round number 2 with ART.
A most unwelcome anniversary.

More and more, I think about letting the dream go. No, that sounds too serene.
I think of prying the dream from the death grip of my clenched fists.
It's going to take a while.

And while I work on it, I'll go on with some more ART. But I know I
can't go on forever.

The second blood draw confirmed the negative result. The clinic does
back-to-back FETs, so on CD1 we start again.


At 09 February, 2011 23:08, Blogger Bea said...

Not really a surprise about the second blood test.

It would certainly be quicker to resolve the issue with success rather than through prying the dream from your death grip - apart from anything else. I'm keeping fingers crossed for this cycle.


At 09 February, 2011 23:37, Anonymous It is what it is said...

Keep going while keeping going feels right.

At 09 February, 2011 23:53, Blogger BigP's Heather said...

I'm with Bea - everything crossed that this next FET works and we don't see the third anniversary!!

I am very sorry about this cycle.

At 10 February, 2011 00:07, Blogger Reba said...

so sorry about this cycle. :( i hope the dream is realized before it has to be manually, painstakingly given up on.

At 10 February, 2011 00:36, Blogger Sara said...

I'm sorry. It sucks. My year 3 starts in April. Boo. :-(

At 10 February, 2011 03:17, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that you can get off this roller coaster soon - without giving up on a dream.

At 10 February, 2011 05:07, Blogger Roccie said...

Stay with us Lut. Dont go quiet. Talk about it and get it off your chest. It is a heavy load and we get it.

At 10 February, 2011 15:31, Blogger serenity said...

I heard, way back when we were trying for our first, that it'll be clear to you when you're done with ART.

Me, personally? I'm only at the point where I can think one cycle at a time. I desperately want to be done. But not give up the dream.

I'm holding out hope, Lut, that you don't HAVE to pry the dream out of your clenched fist, because you see success.

In the meantime, hugs.


At 11 February, 2011 10:04, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about this cycle. I'm hoping the next cycle works...hugs.

At 12 February, 2011 20:58, Blogger Thalia said...

maybe it's the beginning of the end, maybe it isn't. It's very hard to tell until you're actually at the end.

I hope the next one is better. really much better.

At 14 February, 2011 04:24, Blogger Alexicographer said...

Saw your comment at StirrupQueens, came over to give you a hug (or a massage, or a box of scrumptious but calorie-free chocolate). I'm sorry this stuff has to be so hard.


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