Friday, April 08, 2011

The meaning of life ...

... and other questions I don't know the answer to.

"How are you?" is one that leaves me stumped (and has for a while now).

'Good' is true, but far from the whole truth.
'Bad', yes, in part.

Bipolar? An answer with a punch, but shock value is not what I'm
after. Besides, I don't think those genuinely suffering from this
condition would appreciate it. Let's not forget I haven't the faintest
idea what this condition actually feels like for real.

Schizophrenic is out too.

Sweet & Bitter? Fits, but I can already imagine the puzzled look on
the faces of those asking.

I've been meaning to get back in touch with some people IRL, but
knowing I'll have to answer this question - in some detail - is
holding me back. Sharing sad news isn't something to look forward to,
not to mention that I fully expect to get the 'well, you have Linnea
reply'.

'Have' is not the right word, not in my mind. Yesterday, Linnea
slipped on some wet tiles and smacked onto her back, banging her head
(it seemed). I froze as I saw it happen, yet I was right over to pick
her up. She wailed, but other than a fright seems to have suffered no
injury (incredibly). If she had fallen a bit earlier on, she might
have landed very badly hitting her head or neck on a slight ridge ...
if, if, if ... and there's nothing I could have done. I can't bear to
think about it.

9 Comments:

At 09 April, 2011 17:08, Anonymous It Is What It Is said...

To the "How are you?" question and when I am feeling it, I will respond "Neither here nor there" but I actually find that "Inbetwixt" works best :)

 
At 10 April, 2011 02:45, Blogger My Reality said...

For the most part, I lie to everyone I come in contact with. It's just easier that way.

 
At 10 April, 2011 15:06, Blogger Roccie said...

You cannot let those almost accidents get to you. There is no way to qualify them, you know.

You don't sound great and that is your hard earned right. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I hope all those crazies don't apply to you. Just being depressed is hard enough, let alone earning another title.

When they say at least you have Linnea, you should respond truthfully. "Actually she makes it that much harder since I know what I am missing. She makes it much harder since I want this baby for her as much as I do for me...maybe more for her? Wouldn't you give everything your children? Why should I be any different?"

Then I would spit on the floor and turn promptly on my heel for effect.

 
At 11 April, 2011 18:33, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

I like Roccie's response.

Hugs to you.

 
At 11 April, 2011 23:03, Blogger Sara said...

I think that Roccie's response is fair if you feel that way. I don't. I think it was way harder to have no children than to have one. Still, having one doesn't keep me from wanting another. I think it's totally annoying when people act like you should just be grateful for the one you have, and I totally agree that "have" isn't the right word. I sometimes wonder if I'd feel less precarious about Eggbert if I had a second, or if I'd just be twice as worried. But enough about me.

I don't know how I'd handle those "how are you's." I think you just have to play it by ear. I wish there was something that I could say that would make it easier for you.

 
At 15 April, 2011 17:00, Blogger Denver Laura said...

Here from Friday Roundup.

I cringe when people say "good" as the proper term is "well." Personally, I say "I'm fine."

I've come to terms that the "how are you" is just a form of greeting, not a genuine inquiry as to your current state.

 
At 16 April, 2011 02:35, Blogger Christina said...

To answer, but not answer that question, I like to say "It goes" or "I'm hanging in there".

You should just say whatever it that you feel comfortable saying, whether it is truthful or not.

 
At 16 April, 2011 14:52, Blogger myinfertilitywoes said...

Such a hard question especially when trying to answer it genuinely and not just as a greeting. I have been saying "I'm ok" which I think is the balance of "I'm hurting" and "I can feel joy at times". Good friends will say 'only ok?' to which I can go into it further...

I've also had a hard time with certain friends who I don't talk to often because I feel like I've been a broken record on how I am and that I don't want to be a downer, but I also want to be genuine and tell them that I've been having a hard time lately (lately! for the last 3 1/2 years!).

Anyway, thanks for raising the difficulties with that question...

 
At 25 April, 2011 08:16, Anonymous Jjiraffe said...

Beautiful post. I never feel like I "have" my twins either. Always on the lookout for some freak disaster.

Ps: I gave you an award at my site...

 

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