Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Working in halves (continued)

This is an odd place to be.

For one week, I've been thinking about twins. Adjusting to the idea.
I checked out a book about multiples from the library. I pondered
logistics (is our car suitable? we'll never fit a double stroller in
our elevator! where will we find room for two cots?!) to take my mind
off my really fundamental fears.

I can't say I feel devastated right now. Though I do feel a sense of
loss - we could have had an unexpected third child!

Perhaps I am still numb.

The thing is, my original dream of giving Linnea a sibling could still
very well come true. A singleton pregnancy has better odds of success
than a twin pregnancy.

I know, many twin pregnancies turn out just fine. But I've read too
many heartbreaking stories over the years to be appeased. Pre-term
labor, loss to pre-eclampsia, loss in NICU, ... it happens. And
standing at the beginning of a twin pregnancy, not knowing what's in
store, is mighty scary.

I realize that if we did have twins, I wouldn't for the world have had
it any other way.

But standing where I stand now, I feel that this is far from the worst
that could happen.
And I cling to the dream that is still there, a child to take home in
hopefully 30+ weeks.


At 12 July, 2011 22:54, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It makes total sense that you'd want to minimize risks, and it's true that a singleton pregnancy is less risky.

Because, really. The end goal is that you want to bring home a live, healthy baby in 30+ weeks.


At 13 July, 2011 02:26, Blogger Sara said...

I would be terrified of a twin pregnancy also. I remember that at my first ultrasound with Eggbert, I was mainly just thrilled that she appeared to be viable, but was also relieved that there was only one of her. Still, I am sorry.

At 13 July, 2011 03:01, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am hoping for a sibling for Linnea in 30+ weeks.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this.

At 13 July, 2011 08:04, Blogger Esperanza said...

What a rollercoaster ride you've been on. First twins and then maybe not twins? I can't imagine what you're going through. I too am hoping that you will be welcoming a sibling for your Linnea.

Thanks for the comments on my recent posts!

- Esperanza

At 13 July, 2011 09:05, Anonymous Jjiraffe said...

My friend had a vanishing twin. She carried her son to term, no problems. I'm sorry that the last few weeks have been such a rocky road. I am thinking of you and wishing for all the best.

At 14 July, 2011 11:28, Blogger Vee said...

Oh Wow Lut I am just catching up. What an emotional ride you have been on. I totally agree with Serenity.

All the best.


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