Losing my cool
Calmly waiting - that's how I feel most days about this PG. Happy
about where we are right now, not thinking too much about tomorrow.
Yesterday, I lost my cool though. After feeling movement for a week (a
couple of times a day), things felt a bit too quiet over the weekend.
It was a very busy weekend, so I told myself I couldn't feel those
Back in the office, I tried the trick with the orange juice, but
wasn't reassured it made a difference. There's nothing anyone can do,
I told myself. Just wait.
On Wednesday I caved and decided to go to the maternity ward at my new
Why not give them a trial run?
On arrival at the information desk, I asked them where the maternity ward was.
I shouldn't have done that.
The friendly receptionist asked if I was coming to visit.
Me: No - I'm 18 weeks and worried.
FR: you can only see someone with an appointment, shall I make you one?
FR: if you want immediate attention, you ought to go to emergency.
Emergency? That's odd.
Go back home? See my GP? I should have begged my RE to see me.
As I headed to emergency, my worry turned into an anxiety attack.
Emergency, that's were serious stuff goes on.
The triage nurse was very kind, as I explained (in tears by then) that
I was surprised to have been sent there, and that I was simply very
anxious without any concrete indication of something being amiss. I
had hoped to go to the maternity ward for some reassurance, a doppler,
a fetal monitor, an U/S perhaps?
The nurse confirmed they couldn't do anything for me there, but
encouraged me to assume all was well, since there were no apparent
reasons to think otherwise. (Anxiety is immune to logic, no?)
I felt all the more like a fool as the (not visibly PG) lady who
entered emergency just behind me said she was miscarrying. Poor woman.
I headed to the gynaecology department hoping for better luck there. I
was still upset and tried to calm down first.
The secretary - obviously an old hand at dealing with unhinged PG
women - gave me two options immediately: take a vacant appointment
slot with a midwife in an hour - or see the ob/gyn that afternoon.
Big sigh of relief. The midwife whipped out a doppler and set my mind at ease.
5 weeks between appointments is clearly too long for me to handle.
I've learned my lesson, I'll make sure to see a midwife in between
Fortunately, I've been feeling more movement again which is helping me
regain my cool.