Thursday, September 29, 2011

Losing my cool

In brief: getting simple reassurance can prove quite an adventure.

Calmly waiting - that's how I feel most days about this PG. Happy
about where we are right now, not thinking too much about tomorrow.

Yesterday, I lost my cool though. After feeling movement for a week (a
couple of times a day), things felt a bit too quiet over the weekend.
It was a very busy weekend, so I told myself I couldn't feel those
subtle flutterings.

Back in the office, I tried the trick with the orange juice, but
wasn't reassured it made a difference. There's nothing anyone can do,
I told myself. Just wait.

On Wednesday I caved and decided to go to the maternity ward at my new
Why not give them a trial run?

On arrival at the information desk, I asked them where the maternity ward was.
I shouldn't have done that.

The friendly receptionist asked if I was coming to visit.
Me: No - I'm 18 weeks and worried.
FR: you can only see someone with an appointment, shall I make you one?
Me: uhm.
FR: if you want immediate attention, you ought to go to emergency.
Me: ?!

Emergency? That's odd.

Go back home? See my GP? I should have begged my RE to see me.

As I headed to emergency, my worry turned into an anxiety attack.
Emergency, that's were serious stuff goes on.

The triage nurse was very kind, as I explained (in tears by then) that
I was surprised to have been sent there, and that I was simply very
anxious without any concrete indication of something being amiss. I
had hoped to go to the maternity ward for some reassurance, a doppler,
a fetal monitor, an U/S perhaps?
The nurse confirmed they couldn't do anything for me there, but
encouraged me to assume all was well, since there were no apparent
reasons to think otherwise. (Anxiety is immune to logic, no?)

I felt all the more like a fool as the (not visibly PG) lady who
entered emergency just behind me said she was miscarrying. Poor woman.

Now what?

I headed to the gynaecology department hoping for better luck there. I
was still upset and tried to calm down first.
The secretary - obviously an old hand at dealing with unhinged PG
women - gave me two options immediately: take a vacant appointment
slot with a midwife in an hour - or see the ob/gyn that afternoon.

Big sigh of relief. The midwife whipped out a doppler and set my mind at ease.

5 weeks between appointments is clearly too long for me to handle.
I've learned my lesson, I'll make sure to see a midwife in between
ob/gyn appointments.

Fortunately, I've been feeling more movement again which is helping me
regain my cool.


At 30 September, 2011 02:13, Blogger BigP's Heather said...

So sorry for the stress and worry. I would have been the same way.

Glad everything is ok!

At 30 September, 2011 17:33, Blogger Bea said...

So hopefully you are soon going to hit that period where the kicks are coming so regularly that you start to feel a bit more reassured without all the run-around. This on-again, off-again business screws with one's head.

I'm glad you eventually talked to someone who could "see" the problem well enough to actually hook you up with what you needed!


At 30 September, 2011 22:23, Anonymous It Is What It Is said...

I am sorry that the DBTs took hold but so relieved that all is well and that now your know your threshold for losing your sh*t.

Hopefully, with movement becoming more and more reliable, it will smoother sailing soon.

At 01 October, 2011 04:26, Blogger Roccie said...

You sound like a nut case.

Your Friend,
Someone who ate 6 pieces of Halloween candy after the juice didnt work fast enough for her just last night.

You are never alone, nutty, sure, but never alone.

At 03 October, 2011 06:07, Blogger Sara said...

Oh dear. How stressful! I'm glad it all turned out well, and that you now have a plan in place for keeping the DBT's at bay in the future.


At 03 October, 2011 09:44, Anonymous jjiraffe said...

How scary : ( I'm so sorry for the worry and stress! I hope they can provide with the monitoring you feel comfortable with...


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