An update in between appointments
First off, a 'targeted' ad I didn't expect to see:
"Company X: swaddles, baskets and children's coffins - specialized
Uhm, targeted, seriously? I was browsing a site with second hand
items, checking out bikes, clothes, ... items generally associated
with alive and kicking children.
Secondly - what is going through their minds? Parents will stumble
upon their ad and save the link for future reference?
I know there's a need for such services. My heart goes out to parents
who need to make use of them. My worst nightmare ...
Let's just say I could have done without the reminder. Especially as
the DBT had just quieted down a bit.
All of last week, I was wondering whether I might be feeling some
movement in there.
Since 2 days I'm sure I feel a gentle prod now and then. Delightful!
I've been smiling at my desk, on my way to work, in bed.
(I do need to remind myself that it's ok that I don't feel anything
for long stretches. It doesn't mean anything is wrong, not at this
I still find myself reluctant to talk about my PG, especially to
people who don't know the story of how we got here. I feel compelled
to add 'if all goes well, we'll see' to any conversation, and I know
from experience that makes people uncomfortable.
I was chatting with a couple of moms I know from Linnea's school
recently, and they somehow got talking about the births of their
child(en) - a perfect intro - still I couldn't bring myself to tell
them. At some point, the news should announce itself ... if all goes
A sign of post-traumatic stress I think to myself. Not adding
'disorder' mind you, I think what I'm feeling is quite normal and 'in
order', if slightly discomforting. I'll take it any day over the tough
times of IF treatments.
Next appointment in 2 weeks.