I wanted to talk about what comes next - a bit too soon, given we're
still mid-FET - but I like to plan ahead.
In brief, this is the gist:
- I'm thinking of pulling the plug, and I'm right to do so.
- doing one or two more fresh cycles is reasonable, but beyond that ...
- considering alternatives is a good idea (donor, adoption).
You could say I got the donor-talk, but more accurate is that I invited it.
I admitted I'm losing hope and constantly wondering whether the time
to quit has come - though I don't feel ready to throw in the towel
We've taken the first steps on the long, long path to adoption (3+
years to go - at least). I told him I was considering embryo donation
as an option.
We talked about the previous cycles, the numbers and the outlook for
the near future. Not stellar - he brought it more gently - but that
was the message.
Not impossible either, because there's no clear-cut cause for our
failures either. We're unexplained all over again.
The RE suspects that most likely, there's an egg problem. The early
m/c could be an indication of that - or not. The good day 3 embryos
turning into mediocre day 5 embryos might support this - or not.
There's just no way of knowing for sure.
What is for certain is that with a young (preferably proven) donor's
eggs, the odds of success would be much better.
Lots to think about.
Is the longing still that strong - he asked at some point.
Yes. (Close to tears there, but this time it passed.)
Hearing someone else say there's little reason for optimism was hard -
even though it's how I feel myself. I wouldn't have believed him, if
he'd have told me it would all work out - no problem, how could I?