And cue tears
Not unexpected, but no matter how many times I've been here, the pain
it causes is just as sharp.
I managed to make it to the ladies' before breaking down at the office.
I even managed to plow through the rest of the day dry-eyed.
Tomorrow I've taken the day off. Small mercies.
To the news, DH replied how lucky we are to have Linnea. So did a friend.
I feel slapped on the wrist for not being grateful enough. I'm not
allowed to feel pain at yet another failure?
I know, I know, gracefully accept support as it is intended. But
between you and me, I think there should be a 24h waiting period
before uttering 'count your blessings' in any shape or form. Perhaps
Of course I'm grateful that I have Linnea. Each BFN freaks me out even
more that something will happen to her. A belated dropping of the
other shoe so to speak. Insisting on gratefulness alone feeds my
anxiety, and that can't be good either for me or for her.
If anything, I've earned the right to feel grief next to that gratefulness.